psst... yosi tayo

It's the end of the world as we know it...

2012-01-07T13:36:00.000+08:00

And I feel fine :)

I don't really make New Year's resolutions, and I don't intend to start this year.

But I do have hopes and plans and expectations for this new year, so here goes:

A true-blue ~~love~~ like affair.

I mean come on. I was with a guy for 7 years (erm, hello, even MARRIED him) who I thought had the same deep and intense feelings for me as I had for him (erm, hello, that's why I MARRIED him) but was just emotionally maturing at a snail's pace (erm, hello, that's why I was able to STAY MARRIED to him). And then, to my complete and utter surprise, he didn't really love me -- haha, no, not really, it wasn't a surprise :)) Deep in my heart of hearts, locked away in one of the muscles that make up the aorta (random heart muscle FTW), I felt it has always been a one-sided love affair. It's just that all the other heart muscles conspired with my brain gray matter to keep the illusion of "unconditional love" and "marriage life" and "faith".

Fast forward to three years later, and I now have one-sided LIKE affairs. You know, just to make life interesting, to give me random *squee* and *colon capital D* and *hnnnng*. But these boys -- they get girlfriends later on, or I realize they're married (LOL, I know that from the start naman), and I'm stuck in my daydream where every little thing he does is magic. You know, when every harmless text or email or smile makes your heart aflutter, and you can't help that eye twinkle or small smile. BUT THEN, IT DOESN'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING IN REAL LIFE.

Can I just receive something from a man that will mean something that is not contrived with extensive analysis or exaggerated interpretations? That whatever it is he does, if ever it is a text, an email, a smile, a wave, an invitation to yosi or drink coffee, it will mean SOMETHING, absolutely and irrevocably, and not just in my dreams.

(I do hope that SOMETHING is that he likes me, but I'll settle with him being mildly amused by me LOL)

Comfort zone exploration.

As Ramon Bautista said, Maging in the zone sa labas ng comfort zone 2012.

What is outside my comfort zone?

1) Public speaking. I think people who've had the (dis)honor of hearing me talk on stage (or in front of the training room) could've made a drinking game out of all the "um's" I've said and they'll be drunk before my talk is halfway over. Action plan: confidence, confidence, confidence. And of course, know thy subject matter.

2) Small talk. The awkward turtle makes a constant appearance whenever I attempt to make small talk. It's because I usually just nod and smile blankly even though I don't understand what the other person is saying. Action plan: listen, listen and listen. And of course, be genuinely interested.

3) New friends. I suck at making new friends because of #1 and #2 above, plus the fact that I tend to be clique-ish, and just be in my own small social circle. I also tend to think that people naturally do not like me because a) I am awkward and b) I am weird, and so I tend to keep my distance. I only have a ready smile for those who have a ready smile for me. Action plan: smile, smile and smile. And of course, to open my heart.

(Cue Madonna's "Open your heart to me baby... I hold the lock and you hold the key")

Proper money management.

Let's just say I haven't recovered from expenses in 2009 (moving out/in expenses, Ondoy), and 2010 (US trip) when 2011 expenses rolled in. Europe, group buying deals, project lunches, clothes and shoes shopping -- I wasn't really stingy with myself even though I knew I was still trying to pay off debts from the previous years.

Good thing before 2011 ended, I was able to take stock of my financial situation. I realized that I was, simply, in deep shit. And so, 2012 came with me loaning money from my parents, and trying to pay off four credit cards.

And so it's time for me to lay off the cabs. Bring baon and eat it. Take the shuttle if I can. No more sales or group coupon sites. Be less "generous", that is, stop treating people to lunch or dinner LOL. Use wifi when I can, and no more 3g surfing.

Basically, it's time for me to use cash, buy only what I can afford and be content with what I have.

(Repeat the last line ten thousand times; twice that during a midnight madness sale)

Creative organization.

(Or alternatively, organized creation?)

I have a LOT of stuff.

My shelf is brimming with books, my cabinets are overflowing with clothes that I do not wear anymore, and my drawers are full of knick-knacks I no longer use. Add to that all the unfinished DIY projects, all the materials for DIY projects I haven't even started, and finished DIY projects that are just wasting away in different parts of the house. PLUS, all the stuff I hoard -- paper and plastic bags, old folders, art-and-craft materials, receipts, etc etc etc.

Mind you, I have made many attempts in the past to FINALLY organize my stuff, but after a few months, I get bored with the new arrangement, and so I re-organize and re-arrange everything, and then after a few more months... well you're smart, you know what happens next.

Just before the year ended, I've finally thought of an organizational scheme that I hope *cross fingers* will last throughout the year. It involves editing my hoard -- to just keep what I need in the place where I'll be needing it. I'm hoping that this scheme will enable me to a) get more sleep (as the bedroom will only be for sleeping), b) save electricity (because all other activities will be done in a non-airconditioned room), c) display my art (if I can't show it off, I'll chuck it out) and d) start, continue and finish my DIY projects (because they will be done OUTSIDE my bedroom).

And, yey, first free weekend of the year! I'm starting today!

(Well, I'll start in a couple of hours, after I finish this blog post)

---

As I said earlier, I do not make resolutions. For me, resolutions are like lofty dreams that you wish will come true. What I have above are not resolutions. They're more of THINGS I AM GOING TO HAVE THIS YEAR because current circumstances and the present situation calls for them already. And there is no backing out, or quitting, or giving up. There is no if or when. Chickening out is not an option.

Naks.

Let's do this, 2012.

Source, source, source, source and source

Why, hello there 2012!

2012-01-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

2011 had a lot of surprises -- some were good, others were bad, some made me pull out my hair, while there were others that had me squealing with joy (well, not out loud LOL). There were times I muttered "I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life" under my breath as I banged on the keyboard, and there were some moments wherein I was in happy disbelief that these ~things are happening to me.

And so with that, I would say, I'm pretty revved up for the new year.

Bring it on, 2012!

Obsessed, Last Part

2011-10-26T08:02:00.000+08:00

2010 started with Kris Allen (a show here in the Philippines, hell yeah!), but I finally just became a fan, and was no longer a fanatic by 2011.

But I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have other obsessions.

Let's start off with this guy:

I've always loved Jimmy Fallon <3 He was adorably dorky in Fever Pitch and hilarious in SNL. And omgggg, his opening numbers for MTV Movie Awards and Video Awards! There is nothing to hate about this guy, srsly! I was so happy (and nervous!) for him when he got his Late Night gig :)

Then the Emmys 2010 opening:

And the whole Emmys 2010 in fact. My bb Jimmy is all grown up, but still so adorable and funny and *sigh*

So after that gig, I turned to my favorite haunt for obsession (Tumblr) and followed all blogs that featured Jimmy heeee. Then I got a copy of his Best of SNL dvd, and screencapped and ripped videos and uploaded them into my Tumblr (no, I didn't make a fan Tumblr LOL).

I mean look at him... just... argh, perfect:

Look at how Jimmy is so incredibly awkward and cute and gaaaaaaah.

Best thing about him? He's older than me LOL!

And yes, lookit me buying an over-priced foreign magazine just because he's on the cover:

After Jimmy and the Emmys, and after this party, things slowed down for a while, and I ended up looking for something new to watch. Since I've always loved the Sherlock Holmes series, I decided to give BBC's Sherlock a look.

10 minutes into the first episode, and I. WAS. BLOWN. AWAY.

Yes, that's the exact moment my ovaries exploded, and I fell in love with the Sherlock series, the bromance between Sherlock and John, and of course, with Benedict Cumberbatch.

Ugh, fine fine gentleman!

He's ginger with an English accent to boot! <3 Again, I did what a self-respecting fan girl would do: troll the LJ communities and Tumblr fan blogs. Yes, I have videos in my HD. I have pictures. I have audio! Looks like I've been Cumberbatched LOL

And now, let's finish this off with a recent obsession. Ginger too, and still with a British accent:

Yes, Mr. Ronald Billius Weasley himself -- Rupert Alexander Grint!

I know he's a kid but he wears these amazing shirts, he's so adorkable during interviews, and so so so humble! He grew up to be such a man, seriously <3

And I'm a Romione shipper, so there! Ron and Hermione FOREVARZ!!!!11 :D

I have no saved photos of Rupert but my Tumblr has lots of posts on him LOL so just head on over there to see how obsessed I was, I mean I am, with Rupert :)

And rightly so, a new Rupert video, on obsessions, to end this series:

Obsessed, Part II

2011-07-17T14:24:00.002+08:00

2009 -- major life changes. I might have not coped so well if not for my family and friends, but I also got this boy right here.

Yes, Kris Allen. American Idol's ~~9th~~ 8th* season brought me this beautiful boy, and brought out the most obsessive fangirl in me.

I think it was already during the top 5 that I moved from watching AI every time it was on, to scouring the internet for everything I could get my hands on Kris. I started out with kris-pics, but I wanted MORE.

And that was when I discovered ONTD_AI. It was like crack for me. But I mostly observed, and read only the posts, and never commented. Some (most?) of them hated Danny Gokey and his smarmy face (sorry to fans!) too, and shipped Kradam as well! I discovered Kris appreciation posts wherein all imaginable media will be posted about Kris and I tried to save them all. I saved them all. Thus the Kris Allen folder was created. (And I participated in the Kris appreciation posts. WAT?)

And then he won! OMFG HE WON AMERICAN IDOL. I would like to say I contributed to that win, as I called his hotline numbers as much as I could, even though I was here in the Philippines. And the pictures and videos and mp3s just kept on coming, so folders within folders were made.

Then came his birthday, and ONTD_AI had this brilliant idea of making a birthday video for him using the AI winner song No Boundaries. Guess who submitted a picture? And involved her daughter as well? Good thing it can no longer be found in Youtube. LOL. (Of course I have my own copy! Not sharing though, hee)

The top 10 then went on tour, and I was a goner. I made an effort to listen to cellcasts during weekends even though I really couldn't hear anything beyond the crowd. Every night, I would search Youtube for his performances, from wherever city they just came from, and I would download them all. By then I had more than 20 videos and mp3s of Kris Allen singing All These Things I've Done, Heartless, Bright Lights, Hey Jude, and Don't Stop Believing with the other top 10. I also saved pictures of Kris when he came out to sign autographs before the show, and pictures of Kris during the show (which you can hardly distinguish from each show as they wore the same thing every time LOL). He got a Twitter account during the tour too, so it was just constant checking on his account all the time. Mind you, I did that from June to September, from the start of the tour up to the end of the tour. My internet life revolved around Kris Allen during those months. And ONTD_AI was my constant companion.

So the tour ended, and I thought this madness was going to stop. But nooooooooooooo, Kris Allen got himself a band, and went on tour to promote his album. He had some appearances as well in different awards shows, visited late night shows, morning shows, and for me then, he was like EVERYWHERE. So many videos, so many photos, so many songs.

By then, I have weaned myself out of ONTD_AI, and re-discovered Tumblr. Not wanting to post Kris Allen stuff every single time in my personal Tumblr (I was thinking of my followers, some of who were my real life friends -- I didn't want them to complain when I take over their dashboard with so much Kris LOL), I created an account purely for Kris Allen posts. And so Fuck Yeah K-sizzle was born.

That was then I knew I was completely over the edge already -- I was not only saving media anymore, I was creating them to be posted... in a fan site! I slept late and woke up early, so I could create collages and graphics and queue them while I was in the office. I mean, then, I was thinking, I had a load of photos in my hard drive, why not put them into good use? At the same time, promotions were being done for his album, and lo and behold, a music video! There was still so many new stuff to post in Tumblr.

His album came out, and finally, new material to fawn over! The album came out here in December, and it was a totally unexpected and lovely surprise when I finally saw one in a music store! By then, I've already put in his album in our office Christmas wish list site, but I made a note that it was okay if I got multiple copies haha! Luckily, my Kris Kringle parent had relatives coming over from the US, and she gave me the Wal-mart version of the album -- it had extra songs in there! :D Because of that wish in the list, I now have 4 copies of Kris Allen's CD.

However, it was also then that I gave up the Tumblr fan site. I just couldn't deal with the lack of sleep and constant tardiness it caused me. I realized that I can be a fan of Kris without resorting to that kind of madness. Following him on Twitter, and giving a random reply to him every now and then, was enough for me to stay ~connected to him. I had his music (and that overblown folder) and that was fine with me.

And so when came here for a show in 2010, I went as just a fan, and no longer an obsessed fan. Of course I got the most expensive ticket I could afford then, of course I went alone, of course I took videos of every song he sang. That's what normal fans do right?

I still love me some Kris Allen (my flash drives' names will attest to that) and he will always have a special place in my heart. When his new album comes out, expect that I will put it up again in our office's Christmas wish list ;)

You might think I have exhausted all of my obsessive capabilities on Kris, but stay tuned for part 3, as I do not only have Kris Allen in my tracked tags in Tumblr ;)

---

* Thanks Anon for pointing out it out. See, I'm not that obsessed anymore! Ha!

Obsessed, Part I

2011-07-16T11:48:00.001+08:00

I have an addictive personality. When I like something, somebody, ANYTHING at all, I become obsessed. And the internet has been my enabler.

But well, I started out with this obsessive personality without the internet.

Source

And yes, I started out with that bad boy up there.

Of course, during that time, there was no internet yet (well, in our shores, or at our house anyways), so I did what any tweener did then -- rip out any Edward Furlong photo in any teen magazine I could get my hands on.

And, I'm horrified to tell you this, I sent him a fan letter. (Not my most embarrassing fan-girl moment, I tell you, there are more loads to come in the future when I'm a bit older)

Then a few years later, the internet came, but then, fangirling took a back seat, as I had real-life situations keeping me busy then. Besides, for me, there wasn't really anybody worth fangirling then. Well, there were Keanu Reeves and Hugh Grant, but they didn't have that much of an effect on me. (I did make sticker name tags with Reeves as my last name. So sue me, I was in HS okay?)

Then came this guy:

Oh Orly Orly Orly. Because of you, I made a folder in our PC, saving the tons of images of you I could find in the internet. That was the very first time I did that. (Mind you, I don't have that folder now, but when I googled for an Orlando Bloom photo for this post, I felt a pang of regret for deleting that folder [Yes, I deleted the folder. I realized a few years ago that there really is a time for letting go LOL.])

And of course he had tons of movies coming out then so there was a lot of material to right-click-save-as then. I was even saving webpages for the articles about him LOL!

So life again got in the way of fangirling, and I now obsessed about real-life people and real-life problems and real-life love and real-life loss.

But the internet and I have become more than friends. You can say I become obsessed with the internet itself, making this blog, joining forums, downloading mp3s and videos and what-have-you's, reading EVERYTHING about ANYTHING -- the internet became my life, and my life has become the internet. And then a whole bunch of things were invented and made -- Youtube, Twitter, Plurk, Multiply, then eventually Facebook. (I have a special story for Tumblr, in connection with most of my embarrassing fangirl moments LOL). At the same time I also learned to use RSS feeds, and I just have all these information about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING, and everything is in my Google reader!

I mean, if I had all that when I was enamored by Orlando Bloom, would it be just one measly folder?

Well.

Let's start with Veronica Mars. I was a little bit late in the game -- it was already cancelled by the time I crammed all three seasons in my iPod so I could play them anytime, anywhere. I bought the first season DVDs even though I already have copies in my computer. I devoured Mars Investigations because come on, they have an analysis of EVERY.SINGLE.EPISODE. I also got a copy of all the songs EVER played in all three seasons of the series --just so I could have copies of three particular songs. Because of you know what?

EPIC LOVE.

First kiss song -- Momentary Thing by Something Happens. (Cannot find a decent vid in Youtube that can be embedded gaaaah.)

Source

"I thought our story was epic you know. Spanning years and continents... lives ruined, blood shed. EPIC!" (I love this scene so much, it's my iPod wallpaper.) Song: I Hear the Bells by Mike Doughty.

And this dance.... *sigh* Sway, by The Perishers.

Okay, now see how I can get obsessed? We are just barely scratching the surface here people. I was a VM fan with only the fansites, my mp3s and videos. I think I will consider myself normal during my VM addiction phase (although, I will never ever stop loving VM <3).

Wait till you hear about Kris Allen, Livejournal and Tumblr.

To be continued...

I'd say weird, but... yeah, it wasn't really

2011-04-17T22:21:00.001+08:00

So after meeting up with D's friends last month, I found out that the same group (M, T, JE) + one other friend, JDG met up with D and C also, a few weeks after.

After learning about it, I really didn't want to meet up with D's friends anymore. I have this thinking that friends will choose sides, and well, they were D's friends first, and I'm okay if they choose D. And yeah, that meant choosing C too, but it had to be that way.

Or so I thought.

A few days ago, JDG saw me online and struck up a conversation.

JDG: well ganito kasi, nagkita-kita rin kami nila M last friday. finally.
S: aaaaaaaaaaaaaand?
JDG: na-miss lang kita. :)
S: nyek wag ganyan :P
JDG: andun ako, si M, si J and si T
S: kasama niyo si D diba and si C? :P
JDG: yup, si D and si C.
S: ...
JDG: mas masaya yun kung ikaw ang andun eh.
S: nooooooooooo don't say that :P hahahahha :))
JDG: hope i'm not speaking out of line
S: hindi oks lang :) yun yung ayoko yung comparison.
JDG: it's not that
S: yun kasi yung iniiwasan ko
JDG: siguro kasi we were friends with you (everyone there) but not with her
S: wait na-touch ako.
JDG: kinakausap ko naman siya. di lang masyado.
S: srsly, na-touch ako :3

So with that, and this, how can I refuse when he invited me to dinner? I told him to invite M, T and JE too afterwards for drinks, might as well have them with us for more fun eh?

And so it came to pass that I had dinner with JDG and JE, and then CCC joined us for drinks. I had to go all the way to the Fort because of JDG, but they promised we'd see each other next time somewhere in Ortigas (as I had to go to Eastwood the first time, ako naman sana puntahan nila diba? :P).

Most of the night was spent reminiscing their kalokohan days--cheating arrangements during exams, playing Starcraft in Anonas up to 3 in the morning, joining and winning quiz shows, gambling with card games--all of which D and I fought about then LOL. The memories would usually start with 'Asan na si [insert name here]?" and then the stories about that friend would be told and usually ended with us laughing our asses off. Actually each memory retold that night was a good one; the stories totally deserved that oft-said phrase: "Good times".

At one point in the evening, it was brought up as a joke that D and I will be invited to one meet-up (I'm okay with it, just as long as C is not with him LOL). Of course, the awkwardness was brought up, and eventually led to who among their friends, the twopa as they have called themselves, cannot be together in the same gathering / table.

JE then said: "Ah naaalala ko na, si Shelley tsaka si DW di puedeng magkasama" (I blamed DW then for encouraging D's flirtiness. I'm actually okay with DW already; it was just deflected anger then). Remembering that they were talking about the twopa, I chimed in: "Awww, twopa ba ako?". CCC answered with: "Ba't ka kaya andito?" (Yes, marunong mambola ang twopa; it's part of their charm LOL).

But seriously, that meant a lot :3

I haven't been with these boys for a loooooong time; I guess I could say the last time I spent time with them was during the wedding. They fell off the grid, we went our own ways, we found jobs, we lived our own lives. We got a glimpse into the lives we live now, with some snippets creeping up in between the memories. It seemed like everything has changed.

But really, and I'm thankful for this, they were the same twopa: still the smartest people ever, and still obnoxious about it LOL. Seriously though, and I'm going out on a limb here, but I'll say that they still have a soft spot for me after all these years.

The only "weird" thing that night was that I was with the twopa, and D wasn't with me.

But yeah, it wasn't really :)

I'd say weird, but...

2011-03-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

So I met up with a college friend, his wife (+ their kid) and another college friend tonight for dinner and drinks. The college friends are actually more of friends of D, but being in the same department and being in the same classes, they became quite my friends too.

But, well you know, I've always thought of them as being D's, and not my, friends. That they were my friends because of D. (It actually amazes me that people from D's circle of friends would add me in Facebook, but WTH, it's Facebook, real relationships really do not matter there, LOL)

Anyway. I actually thought D didn't see his college friends anymore -- with his girlfriend, and office friends, and his online gaming responsibilities. I thought his world revolved around a very small social circle already, one that included the girlfriend right smack in the middle.

Then we were talking about D and the two college friends mentioned they met up with D one time, with the girlfriend, and I felt a bit... weird? Ionno, it was not a good feeling, not really a bad one though but...

My mind went off-balance for a teensy-weensy bit.

Maybe it was the thought that he introduced her to them already, when it was ME who was with him during their entire college friendship. Maybe it was the thought that I felt "set aside" as the "old one" because D is all like "hey guys, here's the new one, all shiny and new and I luuuuuuuuuurve her." Maybe it was the ease of D to just introduce her to them, and the ease of his friends to accept her.

But hey, I was the one who was with them, having dinner and drinks tonight. What did D or his girlfriend or their relationship or our past relationship have anything to do with it?

I guess I could say, they ~~are my~~ have been my friends ever since as well :)

Appointment #2

2011-03-06T11:06:00.000+08:00

So I told everything, from the first time we met in 1998, to that suspicious receipt from Bugsy's in 2008. [Not really everything yet, because on my way home, I remembered some incidents (bringing Chai to our house, spending New Year's Eve with Charm, etc) which I failed to mention.]

---

I was asked if D ever told me what he loved about me. And through the haze of the 10 years we spent together, I could only remember him saying one thing:

"He said he loved my smile".

You know that's something superficial, right?

A pause. Any traits, or things that you do that he said he likes about you?

I smiled sadly. "No, I don't remember".

Because I don't think he ever said anything.

---

Was it really love?

Especially the first year we were together, because that was just the two of us (no pregnancy, no obligation, no pressure to be together). I know it wasn't really love in the beginning of our relationship, but what was it between all the sex and sneaking out, a few months later? What made him stay with me even if my mother was giving us a hard time? Why was I worth the effort of staying in the relationship? Was I (only) that good in sex?

What were those letters for? Why were there flowers for no special occasion? Why did he always make sure I got home safe? Why did he spend time with me not having sex?

Why was he there? And why did I let him be there?

---

And so, telling all these stories, from the kilig moments, to our escapades, to getting pregnant, moving in together, getting married, and basically fucking things up, from how such a random introduction turned into a real-life tele-novela, could I honestly say there was love between us then, a love that was for the persons that we were -- pure, selfless, unadulterated, sincere and true love?

Considering how miserable we were together 10 years after, I guess not.

Appointment #1

2011-02-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

I answered a bunch of logical and psychological tests, and a certain number of pages of basic information about me.

Then there was this short interview, with sort of getting-to-know-my-background type of questions.

Questions about my education, my family, my current work. Then about D -- his family, his work. Then questions about our family - the reason for moving in together, getting married, breaking up.

Just basic fact-finding questions, no in-depth why/how questions yet. But there were numerous times I felt like my voice was breaking, and tears were welling up in my eyes.

Pano na kaya 'to sa appointment #2? The doctor said I had to remember and recount every detail I could remember about our marriage.

I just might have to bring several packs of tissues next Saturday then.

Good-bye 2010!

2010-12-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

Less than 10 minutes to go, and it's 2011.

2010, you certainly kicked ass. I love you <3

Closing Remarks

2010-10-14T22:35:00.005+08:00

Good evening everybody! I hope you're all still enjoying the party!

First of all, I want to say thank you... to Old Navy for my shirt, Dorothy Perkins for my shorts, Janilyn for my shoes, and Robinson's Galleria Department Store for my fishnet stockings. They were not really fishnet stockings in the first place, but when I put them on, well...

Okay, seriously.

I would like to thank She-Ann for giving me the opportunity to head the committee. Thank you also for helping us secure ALs for our performers and party helpers :)

Thank you Ava for organizing the newbies' talent competition. I hope the newbies didn't give you a hard time.

Thank you Janna for organizing the Divas and Divo. You were a big help to Abi, and a big help to the committee. And thank you to your boyfriend for the mix!

Thank you Pam and Jo for assisting us with our HR needs. I hope you don't get tired of helping out party committees because they will certainly be at a loss if you won't be a part of the team.

Thank you Aivee and MJ for agreeing to our last-minute request to be the scriptwriters. Your spiels for the presenters were perfect for them :)

Thank you Joy and Aivee for all the help. From the invitations, to the 5-year awardees pictures, to getting me a video of the DMS newbies, from the food stubs, cue cards and technical script. You both were our saviors :)

Thank you MJ for helping out Pam and Jo organize the Thanksgiving mass. We really needed you to help pull things off during that time.

Thank you Justine for organizing Sprint for Life. You pulled it off despite the tight schedule!

Thank you CSR group for organizing the farm build. It was a new bonding and learning experience for the employees.

Thank you IT for sending our teasers and announcements. I hope hindi kayo nakulitan sakin.

Thank you Ramon for being our voice over. Remember when we asked you to be our host? I guess you were meant to be a big part of the party ;)

Thank you Hubert and your ushers for ensuring the smooth flow of our program. I hope the presenters, singers and dancers didn't give you a hard time!

Thank you Sessionistas and Divas/Divo for wowing us with your vocal prowess (nuuuks)! I know things got off to a late start, but that didn't stop you guys from going all out during the party.

Thank you Then Band for ending the party with a bang. You will always be my favorite band ;)

Thank you to all our presenters -- you really gave life to our script. The program wouldn't have been successful without you.

Thank you to our judges -- for your words of dancing wisdom to the newbies. It was a tough job choosing the winners, eh?

And lastly.

Thank you Lory; first, for heading the Logistics one-man team, and second, for not losing your patience with me. You made all of my logistics dreams come true. Thank you thank you thank you.

Thank you Abi; first, for giving us the wonderful program earlier, and second, for going through the challenge of juggling three projects with this extra-curricular activity. I'm so proud of you :)

Thank you Tim for giving the anniversary celebration its own XV style and look. People are still raving about the portal and stage design! :) I will forever make yabang how you made our anniversary celebration and party look so daaaamn good.

Thank you Juli for being my partner in all of this. Thank you for being patient and understanding, teaching me the ropes and showing me the nitty-gritty details on how to pull this off. I will miss sending emails and texts to you everyday :)

Thank you to our managers Bon and Chat. The celebration and the party wouldn't have been as good without your guiding hand. Your words of wisdom are very much appreciated. I'm so proud to have you as our Directors.

And last but not the least, thank you to all the employees, who, in one way or another, participated during our 15th anniversary celebration. Thank you for joining our contests, for running during Sprint for Life, and farming during the Bayan-Anihan. Thank you for celebrating Colores de Viernes and sending pictures of your celebration. Thank you to all those who joined the 'My Life Would Suck Without You' video. Thank you 5-year service awardees for sending pictures for the 'My Humps' video. This anniversary celebration was for all of you. I hope you had as much fun as I did :)

And now to close the evening, let's all welcome, the Then Band!

---

This was what I wanted to say last night. But being in the spotlight, in front of hundreds of people, was too much on my nerves, and so I gave the crappiest 'speech' ever last night. Gah.

I love you John Mayer

2010-10-03T23:13:00.000+08:00

October 1, 2010 will always be the night John Mayer got me wet, made me fall hard for him, and broke my heart over and over again. All in one hour or so, I think.

I must confess I was not an instant fan of John Mayer. When Room for Squares came out in 2001, I was more into R&B and hip-hop those days. Of course, I became familiar with Your Body is a Wonderland as it became an instant hit. It did become one of my favorite songs during that period. The next song from him that became my favorite is Daughters, from his second album, Heavier Things.

Then Continuum was released, and I was a goner. I fell completely in love with the genius that is John Mayer. "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" perfectly described what I was feeling at that time. Then there was "Dreaming with a Broken Heart" and I just about cried listening to that song. Waiting on the World to Change, Gravity and Stop This Train also became favorites.

And so we all know that after that album, he became fodder of tabloid magazines and blogs and paparazzi. I had a hard time reconciling the sensitive singer-songwriter with the guy who made an impromptu press conference to discuss his breakup with Jennifer Aniston. Although yes, I was still a big fan of Continuum, and would listen to Dreaming with a Broken Heart, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room and Gravity during the dark days.

Who Says came out last year, and I was lemme say, completely meh about it. But then I heard Heartbreak Warfare, and that intro, it killed me. And the lyrics:

Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

My heart literally hurt while listening to that song. If that song came out earlier, I would've bawled my eyes out every time I would hear it.

And so it came to pass that a concert in Manila was announced for May this year. For reasons unknown (although I suspect it was just logical scheduling), it was moved to October. The move to October was serendipitous as I had money, weather will be cooler, and an event I was organizing was finalized to be NOT on the same day as the concert.

Not as serendipitous as I thought, because October also brought the rains.

It rained the whole day, and I was seriously praying that it continues to rain, just as long it won't rain anymore that night. It wasn't raining anymore when my friend, Joy, and I got a cab to the concert grounds. However, by the time we got to Manila, it was raining cats and dogs already.

Joy then thought of buying raincoats at the hardware store. Funny side kwento -- we thought the yellow raincoat was too bright, so we bought the more expensive three-tone raincoat. We wanted to be fashionable and trendy, even in a storm LOL.

We got to the concert grounds, and was dismayed that our seats were in front of this:

Crappy phonecam is crappy sry!

Joy then asked the bouncer if we can get other seats, just as long as there weren't gonna be people sitting on them. The bouncer said yes, and so off we went to find a better location. We headed to the railing separating the Silver and Gold sections, found the first row of the Silver section empty, and placed our butts firmly on those seats.

However, the whole time we were waiting for the show to start, during the front-act show of Aiza Seguerra, and while John Mayer's crew finally uncovered his equipment, Joy and I were feeling anxious. We feared every person who passed by, thinking they might kick us out as those were their seats.

All this time, rain was pouring on and off. Most had their umbrellas out, and it looked like we wouldn't be able to see anything when the show started.

Sry, camphone photo again.

And then the lights finally dimmed, and came back on, and John Mayer appeared.

I think my heart burst with squee when I saw him, with his guitar, and when he finally started playing. HOMAYGAAAAAAAAAWD.

He was just incredible. Really a guitar god. The audience was putty in his hands. We were his -- hook, line and sinker, rain or more rain.

There were reports in Twitter that 3/4 of the guys came out of the closet when he sang Your Body is a Wonderland, with a really buff guy shouting, "I love you John!". The guy behind us (who was the sweetest thing, srsly) was shouting invectives at John ("You asshole! Tangina mo John Mayer!") because I think he was getting too excited already. Joy and I was just constantly making gigil at each other as we were just falling for John over and over and over again.

Oh and OMFG, I finally saw those mouth movements while he sang -- I was mesmerized. I srsly wanted to be the mic, where his lips were, and his guitar, where his hands were... Okae okae, sorry for sharing my fantasies LOL.

I was so thankful he sang Slow Dancing -- I was just in awe that he was singing it live, and I could see his face (on the big screen) filled with so much emotion, and my heart just hurt after that. And then Heartbreak Warfare was just like that -- I thought my heart was physically hurting already by then.

Oh wow, and after he sang Gravity, I wanted to take him home and take care of him. I wanted to hug him tight and say "It's going to be alright". I seriously wanted to take away any pain he was feeling. It was THAT heart-wrenching.

Yes, I will say it again, he is a guitar god. Those guitar solos were brilliant! Maybe gratuitous for some, but he had every right to show off his skills. Thank you to those big screens so I can see his hands work his magic on the guitar. I mean, really, wow.

As I confessed earlier in this post, I only became a fan of John Mayer when he released Continuum, so I wasn't really familiar with some of the songs he sang that night. So sue me, I had a busy week and failed to catch up on his discography. The last song he sang was Half of my Heart, and mashed it up with Don't Stop Believing (IKR?!?). After a few "One more!" from us, he came back on stage for an encore and sang Edge of Desire.

He didn't interact much with the audience. (He did say the stage was slippery, and feared being in those kinds of Youtube videos LOL) But I think it was more than enough that his songs and the way he performed them had such an effect on us. He really didn't have to say anything anymore as he was already touching our hearts with his singing (corny, I know, but so true).

It was all worth it -- the rain, standing on our chairs, those stupid umbrellas of the Gold section. I swear, if I ever get a chance to watch him live again, I will highly invest so I can see him up close. He is so going to be worth it.

And with that, I will end this post the same way I started it.

I love you John Mayer.

Where art thou, Christopher Pike?

2010-09-26T04:29:00.000+08:00

I started reading Christopher Pike when I was in high school.

It all started with Die Softly, which a friend lent to me as she raved about the book. After that, I was hooked, and I devoured every Christopher Pike book that I can borrow from her. What little extra money I had left over my allowance then was spent on buying his books (well, those and cassette tapes LOL).

By the time I entered college, there were no more Christopher Pike books being sold in those big bookstores. I thought I would outgrow my love for his books as I had less of them to collect. But then I discovered a bookstore in the UP shopping center selling used books, which was a delight in itself already, but then I saw old Christopher Pike titles in there, and I was in love all over again. I scoured Booksale branches and other used-book stores just so I can find more Pike books.

Over the years, I've lost some [to I don't know where :(((] and gained more [as gifts, or unreturned loans LOL]. And here's my current stash:

[Not shown is a hardbound copy of The Season of Passage bought by my Dad <3]

As you can see, a very lowly stash it is :( By the time I finished college, I could never find Pike books anywhere anymore, so for a very long time, I would put it in any of the wishlists I would make (for Christmas and for my birthday heee).

Imagine my glee when I passed by a used-book sale and saw this:

Priced at P29.00 each! I was in Pike heaven <3

I couldn't decide though what books to buy because I couldn't remember anymore what Pike books I own already. After a good half-hour of hemming and hawing, I decided, what the hell, it's just 29 pesos, I don't care if I have two copies of the same book.

So I went home with this:

And what do you know, I didn't buy something I already owned LOL.

A few days after that shopping spree, a package I've been waiting for arrived a day early (as I shamelessly asked a friend to buy me stuff in Amazon with his Amazon credits), and now I have this:

[I'm missing the first book of the series, but what the heck, I asked for the trilogy, libre naman eh! ;)]

Yes, you can say that I was walking on Pike heaven the past few days.

The thing that really gets to me is that Christopher Pike is nowhere to be found in the intarnets. He's not on Twitter, and he doesn't have an official site (well, there's this, but who knows when will that be up?). Well it does say in his Wikipedia page that he is an extremely private person, but come on, give a little something to the fans, why don't you?

There is a fan club, and they got Christopher Pike to answer some questions. Turns out the Last Vampire Series has been republished as the Thirst series, and enjoying quite a bit of popularity these past few months.

Oh and more some surprising news. Apparently, a film company has acquired the screen rights for the Last Vampire series. Well, take that Twilight. Heh. The Last Vampire series may have wandered off to New Age-y stuff towards the last two books but I'd still have that over the Twilight series. Hihihi. Anyways, excited about that development.

It seems that vampires are really trendy nowadays because in the Q&A I mentioned a few paragraphs ago, Pike mentioned that he will add more books to the Last Vampire series. Oh well, cash in as much as you can, sir, while you enjoy a resurgence of your popularity (yeah, I have to thank Twilight for that huh?). There is a new book out though, The Secret of Ka, which was just released this month.

If you want more info about Pike's books, there's a blog recapping his books, with, of course, commentary from the blogger.

As Pike becomes popular once again, I wish some of his books be reissued, and copies be available here in our country. I'm still itchin' to complete my collection, and if the only way I can buy new Pike books is through Amazon, I'm beat (except if my friend offers to buy me something again from Amazon heeee)

So people, if you see any of the Pike books (either in those big bookstores, or in used-book stores), drop me a note, and I will swoop in and buy to my heart's content :)

Dear Old Love

2010-09-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

Source

How To Make An American Quilt by Whitney Otto:

As the twentieth century draws to a close, heads shake at the high divorce rate, the brutalization of the love affair, left in neglect or disarray. Leave that old lover. Move on. Take the A train. But in the dark of your room, you may be moved to admit to yourself that you only thought you fell out of love or grew tired of it (grew tired of a small miracle of the heart?), when in reality you may not have felt love at all, but something entirely different. Once you love, you cannot take it back, cannot undo it; what you felt may have changed, shifted slightly, yet still remains love. You still feel -- though very small -- the not-altogether-unpleasant shock of soul recognition for that person. To your dismay. To your embarrassment. This, you keep to yourself.

Why are old lovers able to become friends? Two reasons: They never truly loved each other or they love each other still.

Reality Bites

2010-08-25T21:37:00.002+08:00

The past few days have been a rollercoaster of squee and colon capital D.

Bumibingo ako sa kilig, mehn.

And when I'm in cloud nine, my imagination tends to wander and let's just say, pantasya na itu to the highest level.

And then something unexpected happens, which isn't really part of my imagined scenarios, with it being so minor and inconsequential, but still making me smile after battling a fever this morning.

Real life sometimes gives me the best surprises :D

Although, after a quick yosi break, I realize what a fool I've been. It was a slap in the face, a wake-up call.

Oh real life, sometimes you are such a disappointment D:

Haul-a Loot!

2010-08-24T06:21:00.000+08:00

So yeah I had all these stuff I wanted to buy with that little extra sumfin right?

Let's just say there was a sudden change of plans.

---

John Mayer's concert was supposed to happen earlier this year (I think May 15?), but then the date got moved to October 1. That was serendipitous already because I would've thought twice going to MOA, during May's humidity, with so many people pressed up against you (ugh), and I really had no one to go with at that time.

But then, a friend of mine (@sisagonuts) fell in love again with John Mayer (because of his Tumblr), and she insisted we get tickets already to avail of the early bird discount. I didn't want to commit yet, because at that time, something was being planned for October 1. I told myself if that something was finally NOT scheduled for October 1, I will buy tickets for the concert already.

A few days ago, I got the call confirming that the thing won't happen on October 1, so @sisagonuts and I went online and bought us some tickets for John Mayer's concert! :D

We'll be seeing you in a few weeks, John Mayer!!!

---

Okay, that almost depleted my resources already but I find ways to indulge my shopping cravings. Hehe.

I finally visited Forever21, and going there on a payday weekend was not a good idea. Good thing I'm fat and most of the clothes there won't fit me, or else I would've gone bankrupt that day heee. Oh, and the fact that I remembered I'm already 30, and some of the clothes there are a little too young for me. Hehehe.

I mostly grabbed accessories at first because I thought I wouldn't find clothes that will fit me there. Lo and behold, there is Faith21, which is the plus-size section of Forever21. Since I put myself on a budget, I let go of the accessories, and came home with this:

Disco Inferno Knit Top in Black, Studded Knit Top in Gray

They're a bit pricier than the usual fare in Forever21, but hey, they use more cloth to make plus-size clothes, so I understand :P The price was worth it IMHO because one shirt had bling on the shoulders, and the other one had a belt (which I won't be using naman haha!)

---

Books -- they are my ultimate weakness. I can resist buying accessories and shoes (my fashion weaknesses), but when it comes to books, I just have to buy them. Even though I still have this much on my to-read list.

From top to bottom: The Princess Bride by William Goldman, Illustrado by Miguel Syjuco, What the Hell Have I Done by Robert Fulghum, and A Lifetime of Secrets edited by Frank Warren

The Princess Bride by William Goldman is the book where the movie The Princess Bride is based upon. I think it's been a year since I first saw this book, or knew the existence of this book, so when I saw it again, I just had to buy it. Ilustrado by Miguel Syjuco is a book I found out about by reading Cosmo during one of my salon trips. And coincidentally, a girl having her hair done was reading the said book. Color me intrigued by then. What on Earth Have I Done by Robert Fulghum was previously priced at P925, which I got for P150 at National Bookstore sale. I do not pass up sale items like that LOL, especially since its already a hard bound book, and I have read earlier books of Robert Fulghum. Oh, and of course, A Lifetime of Secrets, my third Postsecret book! I got two Postsecret books for my birthday this year, and one more Postsecret book, and I will re-complete the collection I lost during Ondoy!

---

Of course there's booty loot.

From left to right: Maybelline Clear Smooth Minerals BB Cream, Garnier Light Dark Spot Corrector Pen, Myra E Vita Glow Tinted Facial Moisturizer, Maybelline Lip Smooth Extra Care Cool Mint Lipbalm, Maybelline Fruity Jelly Lip Gloss in Wild Cherry and Nivea Natural Volume.

My Olay Tinted Moisturizer was running out, and since I was in the mood for something new, I picked up the Maybelline cream and the Myra E tinted facial moisturizer. I tried the Maybelline cream this morning, after using Clean and Clear moisturizer, and it felt light on my skin, not heavy as the Olay one. I'll try the tinted moisturizer from Myra E in a few days.

And since I've had so much breakouts the past couple of months, I am left with dark blemishes, mostly on my right cheek :( A few dabs of Physician's Formula Concealer Twins® 2-in-1 Correct & Cover Cream Concealer and strokes of Physician's Formula Magic Mosaic® Multi-Colored Custom Pressed Powder make it less noticeable but I can't be putting on those two forever! So I'm trying out the Garnier Spot Corrector pen -- let's see if it at least lightens my blemishes (suntok sa buwan ang mag-even out pa ang aking skin tone hahaha).

Trivia: I rarely ware lipstick, I only wear lipglosses, even during parties or events. The ones I have right now are mostly on the pink side, so I bought the Fruity Jelly Lip Gloss in Wild Cherry, to have something a bit on the red side. And just for the heck of it, I wanted to try the Nivea Volume to see if it works heh. The Cool Mint Lipbalm saved my lips when I was in the US, specially my sister's, that's why she never gave it back to me -_- It's very moisturizing, and the cool mint is <3

---

And in the impulsive buying section, we have the blow dryer.

Does a mean blow job

Which I'm kinda regretting now, because I tried to use it this morning, and all was for naught -- I had to tie my hair as soon as I got out of the house because of the heat and humidity. Bah. And I will be needing more time to get ready in the morning, which I don't really have, because I'm usually late for work already as it is.

Well, I have wanted to learn how to blowdry my hair on my own, so let's see if my buyer's remorse continue.

---

For my most favorite buy evaaaaaaaaaar, I present to you, a staple gun!

Imma gun you down with my staples!

All of my DIY dreams will now come true LOL! A project is underway wherein I'm using this bad boy, and I will share as soon as I finish it. Well, and as soon as I figure out where to display this said project hahaha! In a few months, I hope to re-upholster our sofas LOLJK!

---

I'm trying to get my financial situation into shape, so it will be loooooong time before I get to exercise my shopping abilities again. Well.... until I get the other half of the little extra sumfin (kung meron man :P)!

Upside down

2010-07-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

Before, when D would do something hurtful to me, I held on to the fact that he married me. And I would pass off the lies and cheating as something he had to go through as a man. That eventually, he'd snap out of it, and go back to the person I (thought I) married. I believed (and wished?) with all my being that he loved me.

Even though I knew deep in my heart that the hurt he made me go through was inexplicable if he really loved me.

Now, knowing for a fact that he DIDN'T love me, everything fell into place. Every hurtful thing he did to me was inescapable proof of the fact that he didn't love me. And I could finally stop blaming myself for the way he treated me. It wasn't me -- wasn't me who was at fault, wasn't me he loved, wasn't me who can do anything about it. It was the biggest "Eureka!" moment of my life.

However, with that, every "I love you", every sweet gesture, each and every shared experience became meaningless.

The inexplicable actions became proof, while the "truth" I held onto became worthless.

Although it soothes my soul to know that I couldn't have done anything to make him love me, it breaks my heart that all the good memories I had with him (and we did have some of those) became lies.

I gained understanding, and with that, lost years of my life to nothing.

In which I count my chickens before they are hatched

2010-07-24T23:53:00.001+08:00

Payday on Friday has a little extra something so I'm planning to blow it on:

A Wii to replace the one we lost during Ondoy.

Or maybe a PS3 already so that I can has Blu-ray player too?

Rock Band or Guitar Hero World Tour!

Or maybe finally get to buy these:

And have my hair repaired.

Or get in shape na lang kaya muna?

But I'll definitely buy Toms shoes! Because Kris wears them!

Okay okay, I just wanted to post that pic, here's another one where you can clearly see his Toms shoes.

Hmmmm... what color then?

Payday Friday, I hope you get here fast!

P.S. I hope you guys are not making computations as to how much that little extra something will be on Friday based on what I want to buy. There's a big difference between wanting to buy something, and actually planning to buy something. Just sayin'.

Of Dreams, and Fantasies

2010-07-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

and falling back to earth.

---

There was a time I dreamt that D got murdered right in front of me. This was the time we were 'separated', or well, as separated as you can get sleeping in two different rooms. I woke up sobbing, with my heart in so much pain. It felt so real; I thought I will never see my husband again.

The next night, I slept in his room, beside him.

A few months after, we separated for good. I never did see my husband again.

---

So here's this boy, who I really like. I was, let's just say, interested in him already even before D and I broke up. But that was as far as it went. Well, as far as I would admit to myself then.

And then, I dreamt about him.

I guess I was far more interested than I thought I was.

---

They say "May you get what you wish for" is an ancient Chinese curse.

Does that curse cover dreams too?

Trenta, Part 2: The Get-To-It List

2010-01-30T06:57:00.005+08:00

Turning 30 this year is such a fuckin' big deal.

I don't know if it's just me or my friends or Darice (who once told me that when I turn 30, that's when I'm officially old LOL) but turning the big 3-0 is such a major turning point in life. I can't help it but I look back on my 20's and realize OMFG what have I done, and look forward to my 40's and panic OMFG what will I do next?

And add the fact that my birthday falls on the first month of the year (and on this, year, a new decade!), when New Year's resolutions and goals and plans are being mapped out, and I'm WTF do I do this year? This decade? This life?

Well, no, not really, LOL, but I do have several plans and goals this year, which is making me pretty excited about the year 2010 and turning 30.

TAKE MORE PICTURES Last year, I got so tamad taking pictures! It would take a special event to bring my mojo back (Macau trip, my sister's pre-nup pics, Cebu-Bohol trip, erm that's basically it LOL), and I miss taking pictures na wala lang, na just for the sake of learning and experimenting. I kinda had that when I joined Filipina Flickrites but then I got busy (in life, in work, in being a Kris Allen fangirl - wut?), and it was good-bye mojo! And now, my dSLR's auto-focus isn't working anymore, and I haven't invested in any other lens, and I feel like I have abandoned something I really enjoy doing!

That's why for this year, I plan to really get to know my camera, buy new lens (or maybe even a flash!), wait have the auto-focus fixed pala muna haha, and take as many pictures as I can!

PROJECT 365 This should really be under the "take more pictures" goal, but doing Project 365 is more than just taking a picture every day -- it's about improvement, dedication, and sharing one part of your day everyday with the world :) [Wow, that was *deep*] I tried last year but I only got about 7 days worth of pictures. FAIL.

This year, I'm starting on my birthday para maiba sa mga nagsisimula ng January 1 hehehe. Pictures will of course be posted on my Flickr, but I'm thinking of posting it here on the blog too. Because I plan to...

BLOG I have missed writing as much as I have missed taking pictures! I have been such a delinquent blogger last year with the last post for 2009 nung June pa, my gulay!!! Kung kelan pa nagkaron ng sariling domain diba? Especially since last year was such a transition year for me diba? Oh well, I was also trying to be less negative last year too, and I know I can write pretty negative things when I'm pissed off at someone.

This year, I will share stories, pictures, videos and what-have-you's thru my blog, not thru Twitter or Facebook! I plan to, nope, make that I am going to blog at least twice a week :) Susulitin ko ang niregalo saking domain name! :D

IMPROVE HEALTH I only have two constant "physical" activities and they both start with the letter S, and I can't really do the other one without a partner LOL. Also, I started eating rice again last year and it made me gain more weight than I expected.

This year, I have started cutting back on my rice intake (breakfast only, yahoo!) and generally cutting back on the food I eat (except for last night -- my parents celebrated their anniversary with a buffet dinner at 7 Corners waaah!). No more weekly quarter pounder meals for me this year -- maybe monthly na lang LOL! Also, because of certain "conditions" made by a very sneaky friend of mine, I will be playing basketball, frisbee and badminton during our company sportsfest. And because of that I invested in a new pair of rubbershoes, o diba? [Sa tagal ko ng hindi nagspo-sporty activity, nawala yung circa 2003 rubbershoes ko nung Ondoy at kebs lang ako hahaha] Aaaaand, because the new rubbershoes I bought were meant for running, I am going to either take up jogging after work (or after a game), or buy a treadmill LOL (pengeng pera or bonus or increase naman diyan! :P)

Therefore, this year, I will still have two physical activities, with the other S being replaced by Sporty activities ;) [Oh, in case you're wondering, the other physical activity that has been constant is Shopping LOL]

VISIT THE STATES Repeat after me: I'm going to get a US visa. I'm going to get a US visa. I'm going to get a US visa.

Yes, my family is planning to go to the US this year! Unfortunately, I still have to apply for a US visa (if only I can just renew the US visa I had 15-20 years ago LOL) before this plan leaves the drawing board and becomes a true-blue mark on the calendar. I do have made some sort of preparation already for this trip -- I bought my very own luggage LOL! If that's not positive thinking, I do not know what is hahahaha!

---

And of course the usual yearly goals of improving my career, spending more time with family and friends, and being the best mother to Darice. Taon-taon naman yan ang nilalayon ko, at hindi ko kelangan maging trenta, o dumating ang bagong dekada para gawin yan :)

---

Again, thank you to all those who made the year 2009 suck less! Let's all make 2010 the best year ever! :D

Toodles!

Trenta, Part 1: Birthday Wish-Ko-Lang List

2010-01-27T12:27:00.004+08:00

Sauce

Yeah, so I'm turning the big 3-0 this year. No big party or whatever. Well, make that no plans yet at all, as the big 3-0 falls on a Sunday, and I really don't feel like partying it up when the next day is a work day. The most important thing is to spend it with Darice and my family so definitely I will be with them on that day :)

And yeah, well I'm still crossing my fingers for a surprise party LOL.

And for these:

KRISTOPHER NEIL ALLEN

I mean, really, look at that GQMF, how can I not want that for my birthday?

Okay, I know, I can't really have Kris for my birthday.

But maybe a DM, or an @reply on Twitter maybe?

OR A MEET & GREET PASS FOR HIS CONCERT ON FEBRUARY 6!?! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TO ANYBODY WHO HAS ANY ~CONNECTIONS TO THE CONCERT ORGANIZERS, SEND AN M&G PASS MY WAY PLEASE!

Okay, sorry for the teeny-bopper-fan-girl moment. On with the wish list.

POSTSECRET BOOKS

I already had the first 4 books and was planning on buying the fifth one when Ondoy destroyed all of my hard bound books [they were all downstairs, in the living room, and since we weren't home when the floods came, good-bye expensive books!] I'm trying to rebuild the "collections" I lost during Ondoy, and I'm hoping these are still available for sale.

CDs

Together with my hardbound books, my CDs and cassette tapes (most of which were circa my high school days!) were destroyed by Ondoy. I had tapes of the Eraserheads, No Doubt, Kula Shaker, Garbage, Green Day, Alanis Morissette, Madonna, Michael Jackson, soundtracks of Reality Bites and Batman Forever (eto na lang naalala ko LOL). I had CDs of Black Eyed Peas (their first one pa signed by the band!), Alicia Keys, John Mayer, and of course more of Alanis and Madonna. The loss of my "music collection" was one of the major things that depressed me after Ondoy. It made me feel like I lost my past, in a way :(

Yeah, so for my birthday, or at least for this year, I want to rebuild my CD collection too. Help me out if you can :) [P.S. I already have the latest albums of John Mayer and Madonna, so sa earlier albums na lang nila ninyo ako sana matulungan hehe :)]

DVDs

My DVD collection was on the same shelf as the CDs and hard bound books, so yeah, I'm also going to rebuild this collection of mine. Good thing some of my newly bought DVDs (original Veronica Mars Season 1!!!!) were already up in my room, so whew, they were safe from the flood waters. I've started buying DVDs again though because you can get those cheap original DVDs already for around 150 pesos.

But season 2 and 3 of Veronica Mars are still eluding me, so yeah, maybe you can find them for me :) And the DVD of the first Eraserheads reunion concert too!!! :D

50MM PRIME LENS

Oo, hindi pa rin ako nakakabili niyan hanggang ngayon! Siguro kahit samahan niyo na lang akong Hidalgo para mabili ko na yan!

HOLGA ACCESSORIES

Eto pa, hindi ko pa rin mabili-bili. But I've been wanting these for a really really long time.

EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE

I also wished for a hard drive last year, but then I bought a new PC instead so that took care of it. Well, for a while only, because the new TV season has started and I'm scared I won't have enough space by the time the season ends! And seriously, pictures take up soooo much space too!

So to prepare for the onslaught of images and videos, I guess a 2TB external hard drive would be best, eh?

W-II EASYMAY SLIMMING DRINK

Sauce

I just saw this on a home TV shopping channel and wow, I am convinced LOL. Kind of expensive though, but what do you expect from a slimming drink which promises to make you look like ~~an anorexic~~ a model, eh? Wala lang, gusto ko lang i-try, heh. Desperate measures na itu LOL.

KERATIN COMPLEX TREATMENT

Sauce

Ever since Chuvaness mentioned about getting a Keratin Complex Treatment, I was obsessed about trying it out. And then came a more detailed post from Chuva about the treatment, which further fueled my need and want for this treatment.

You see, I'm trying to grow my hair long after having it in a boys' cut for the past two years. Well, it's a little longer now, reaching my shoulders, but it has been a complete torture not getting a haircut every four weeks (the longest I've gone without a haircut was four months! yey me! [and somebody owes me lunch!!! yey!]) because of the frizz and flyaways. I think with the said treatment I'll have bonggang hair while I'm trying to grow it a little longer, and it's not rebond or relaxed or straightened (which I absolutely abhor).

---

That's it pancit! And that's just part 1???

Haha, don't worry, just watch out for part 2 :D

Toodles!

So it's been a year.

2010-01-24T22:43:00.004+08:00

365 days ago, I spent one last night with my husband, and then we went our separate ways.

Well, as separate as we can, because we do have Darice. And "sharing custody" presented a few problems along the way (mainly because of him, aminado naman siya in fairness) but I think we're better now.

I feel so much better, as a matter of fact :)

And I wouldn't be where I am now (chos, parang award ba itu?) if not for my family and friends. Thank you for the out-of-town and shopping trips, the pig-outs and drinking nights, the coffee dates and yosi breaks. Thank you for the phone calls, the texts, the emails, the @replies, the DMs, the offline messages. Thank you thank you thank you.

And I apologize for the lack of updates! I have been distracted by real life, Kris Allen, work, Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook that I couldn't find time to blog anymore :( Also, the stories I could've blogged about that required more than 140 characters are those stuff that will make me look bitter-bitteran, or I'll write in a passive-aggressive way, so diba, wag na lang?

So that's it pancit for now. I'll take this slow for now while I go back to the groove of blogging again.

Toodles!

Um, weird

2009-06-22T21:01:00.004+08:00

Coming from work, I dropped by the small grocery near our subdivision to buy something for my never-ending quest to drop a few pounds.

[Actually, the quest will end this Sunday, after my sister's wedding, and the quest is to shed a LOT of pounds. So yeah. Good luck right?]

I went inside the grocery, with my earphones blasting music, heading straight to the Coffee/Tea aisle.

[Yes, I was going to buy those herbal teas that make you go poo-poo. I ~~was~~ am desperate! I only have 6 days to go!]

But then I noticed the long lines at the cashiers -- meh. Herbal tea-drinking will have to start the next day then.

So I turned around, heading back to the door, when I heard some guy [faintly, I must say, since I was wearing my earphones] call my name.

"Shell. Shell. Shell!"

There was only one guy who can possibly be at the same grocery, and calling me by that name.

I turned to look where my name was coming from, and it was, of course D.

Here comes the weird part.

"Uy!"

And then a weird half-hi/half-bye wave. From both of us. And then a millisecond pause.

Then I took a step towards the exit with "Ang haba ng pila eh." And then another weird millisecond and then off I go.

---

I spent almost 11 years with this guy, and what, we're reduced to that kind of interaction?

Although, there was really nothing to talk about anyways.

But gaaah. Why so awkward? [I may have been the only one who felt awkward though. I think it would be impossible for D to feel akward at all.]

I mean, that "encounter" with D felt so awkward compared to a chance encounter with a college acquaintance [who works in the same compound as I do, who I avoid because he greeted me with a snarky "ang LAKI ng pinagbago mo ah" around 2 years ago -- yes, i hold my grudges. Dearly] this same day -- I had a friendlier, more easy-going response when he called my attention as I was walking towards the center gate [I returned his "ang LAKI ng pinagbago mo" comment at him because he did got erm rounder].

I guess the weirdness and awkwardness felt overblown because it got compared to that encounter with the college acquaintance.

Again, I'm going to say it, but it's WEIRD how life works -- you spend a decade of your life with someone, and then, it's just a series of awkward hi's and hello's in the end.

IDK, TBH, DNW. But then, well, that's the way life goes. *shrugs*

Just when I thought...

2009-06-12T22:54:00.004+08:00

There were times you were excruciatingly annoying.

Or being such an asshole.

Or a jerk.

Or just plain oblivious to my feelings, our past, and my existence.

All the while with me trying to re-engineer my life without you. Trying to undo the (bad) changes you made me go through. Trying to reset the matrix of my existence, to find the "me" that I lost when I was with you, to rebuild myself without you as my cornerstone and my foundation.

Then, you asked:

Ano nga pala yung pasta na lagi nating ino-order natin dito?

Although I was wistful for a moment, remembering that one time we "celebrated" an anniversary there, and all those other times we just gorged on pizza and pasta in that place...

I see your new watch.

The times we spent there were a lifetime ago.

You were mine then, and I was yours.

And now, the watch you wear is not that one I gave you.

Because you're no longer mine.

And, I'm no longer yours.

It was bittersweet nostalgia.

Nothing less.

And nothing more.

:)

Kradam Bromance

2009-05-21T20:56:00.004+08:00

*SQUEEEEEEEEEE*

This day has just been full of heart-squeezing squee.

The man-hug that went forever.

Oh my... what a bromantic look at each other *_*

Adam looking NOT pissed that Kris won, and that adorable surprised look on Kris' face <3

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

BFFs <3<3<3

On Who Should Win AI

2009-05-20T13:02:00.003+08:00

From here:

On Adam:

I want him to win because he’s fearless as an artist and has never stooped or pandered or played it safe. I want him to win because the only thing predictable about him is that he isn’t going to do anything predictable. I want him to win because he is so unaccountably himself. I want him to win because being himself obviously hasn’t always been easy for him, because he’s had to struggle and question and discover the person he wants to be. I want him to win because, despite that struggle, he is so clearly as kind, gentle, and big-hearted of a person as you could ever hope to meet. I want him to win because I think he’s ready for America and I think America is ready for him. I want him to win because he wants it.

On Kris:

I want Kris to win because he’s gotten this far on his own, with no backing from producers, no pimping from the judges, nothing but his own ability propelling him through each week. I want him to win because he’s the type of artist I’ve been waiting for ages to hear on Idol, the type that’s only just started being represented in the last couple of seasons, with a voice that’s not about big notes or showy runs, but that’s about nuance and emotion and phrasing. I want him to win because he actually made me like She Works Hard for the Money. I want him to win because when he really needed to, he went out there and KILLED Heartless simply by being himself and made everyone sit up and pay attention. I want him to win because he seems every bit as kind and gentle and big-hearted as Adam is. I want him to win because he is never quite what anyone expects in delightful and wonderful ways. I want him to win because he breaks my heart in the best possible ways too.

I effing second the motion!

They’re completely different people, completely different end results, but it’s the same underlying philosophy. And I love that we get to see that play out in the finals. I love that they bring totally different types of credibility to Idol. I love that they’re going to drive each other to be the best they can be. I hope this finale is epic. I hope it’s the closest finale yet.

Oh hell yeah.

I cannot wait for the man-hugs tomorrow!!!

The Case for Kris

2009-05-17T22:13:00.006+08:00

I'm coming out of my blogging hiatus.

For Kris Allen.

How can you not vote for this?

Or this?

At kamusta naman ang bromance with Adam?

Argh. So adorable.

Once more, with feeling:

I love it that both Adam and Kris made it to the finals. If I could vote on Wednesday morning, I'd vote for both.

But if I only had one call to make, I'd make the call to Kris' number :)

Want more reasons to vote for Kris? Here's 25 reasons.

Here's a site devoted to Kris. They have instructions on how to do power voting for Kris, even if you're not in the US!

And to remind you what Kris is all about, it's taking a song, and then he rearranges it, reengineers it, reboots it (wala lang, uso yang word na yan ngayon because of the Star Trek movie heh) and then POW, he makes it his own. That's why I'm ending this post with Heartless -- it's the heart and soul of what Kris has been doing all season long in Idol.

Dancing Kris Allen GIFS from here.
Bromance images from here.

Daughters

2009-03-13T03:13:00.004+08:00

I learned from my sister (who works in the same office as I do) that our dad was going to accompany her to the DFA, and that he was already waiting in a McDonald's right across our office.

Me: Pabili tayo ng McDo!

Youngie: Eh ako nga pupunta sa McDo.

M: Hay nako, magtetext ako, pupunta yon.

Y: Ikaw, sige.

M: *thinks* Malakas naman ako kay Daddy eh.

Y: Oo nga.

M: *evil smile* Ampon ka kasi eh! Hahahahah.

Y: GAGI!

[She used to be the bunso kasi, for 10 years. So we (my other sister and I) usually made her asar and made her cry when we were kids, saying she's not our real sister. Heh, I know, we're bad.]

So I sent Dad a text message.

Dadox, you're in McDo na daw? Can you buy me a quarter pounder meal go big time? Then sunduin niyo na lang si Young dito sa office!

His reply, after a few minutes:

I'll be there in 20 minutes. May delivery charge ha!

---

D came over two nights ago to visit Darice. While Darice was getting something to show it to D, she started to absent-mindedly sing a song.

I almost choked trying to suppress my laugh.

"Bakit?" D asked, confused.

"Naririnig mo ba kinakanta ni Darice?"

"Ha? Hindi, ano ba yon?"

So I turned to Darice. "Darice, sing louder for Papa"

And so, Darice sang, with feelings:

Womanizer, woman-womanizer,
You're a womanizer
Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer,
You you-you are, you you-you are
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)

I swear, I did not teach her that song!

---

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

25 Things

2009-02-27T23:18:00.001+08:00

1. I average one quarter-pounder meal with go-big-time a week. Gawd. But there are times I don't eat breakfast and that's when I go for my quarter-pounder meal at lunch.

2. I drink a cup of coffee in the wee hours of the morning, while having breakfast with Darice, then another cup first thing when I get to work, then another cup during 3pm break. There are days when I grab a coffee during lunch time too, then another one after a drinking session at night. Yes, nakakatulog pa rin naman ako sa gabi :P

3. I consume around 3/4 of a pack of yosi everyday. Yikes. The 1/4 is consumed by my yosi buddy. Hee.

4. I'm not much of a beer drinker. It makes me terribly burpy and sleepy! Two bottles and I'm yawning.

5. So I go for the cocktails and hard drinks. No hangover!

6. When I'm with my high school girl friends, I'm the least kikay. When I'm with my office girl friends, I'm the one who's pinaka-kikay! Hahahaha. Although with my college girl friends, same level ang ka-kikay-an namin. Heh.

7. I weigh 160 pounds! Egad! I know, I'm obese already (as in officially na). I weigh the same as when I had Darice during my third trimester already. Grabeh.

8. Although, I'm not really conscious or insecure about my body. Eh sa mataba ako, bakit ba?!?

9. Eh kasi, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE MY DECOLLATAGE! Ahahahaha. You cannot mess with the power of cleavage. Hahahaha.

10. Although, I will do anything to lose weight -- except exercise. Sry, I'm so tamad talaga. And I don't want to make the effort to lug around a bag of athletic stuff pa sa office. Although, tell me to take a pill or whatever because it made someone lose weight and I'll do it. Although of course, money is a big factor -- I haven't tried Reductil yet because it costs an arm and a leg [well, for a single mother's income ha] for a month's supply.

11. I was a nerd in high school -- kaya siguro when I'm with my high school friends, I feel I'm the least kikay. Bumabalik ang pagka-nerdox (Math A :P) ko. Wahahaha.

12. But it took me 6 1/2 years to finish my 5-year course. Hey, at least I graduated diba?

13. Also, I'm proud to say I never repeated any Math subject when I was in college. One take lang lahat ng Math ko :D

14. It's weird that I work mainly as a programmer currently, but when I took my first ever programming subject in college, I failed :(

15. And I failed several engineering subjects several times too, and the most memorable is CoE 115, which I took three times -- first, I dropped out, then I failed, then thank God for my partner, the third time I finally passed!

16. I am obsessed with LoVe -- the love team (love team?!? parang Pinoy love team?!?) that made me believe in epic love. I cannot get enough of the show Veronica Mars, and I can watch that show over and over again! Aaaah, I cannot effing wait for the movie!

17. I'm not sanay not being in a relationship, since I've been in a relationship since 1996. For almost two years, I had a relationship with a girl, and then D and I became a couple. Yes, they overlapped -- but only for one day, hee. Basically I don't know how to be single AND available.

18. I love to shop -- for clothes, for shoes, for gadgets. But I make sure I only spend my OWN money [as in yung sobra-sobra yung ginastos mo na pera mo, para sa ibang tao pa, pero di na makakabayad ng share mo ng bills kaya ibang tao na yung sasalo sa bills mo -- kapal diba? Bitter ocampo I know, pero ang kapal kasi eh!], and not to use my credit cards, erm, too much. And I will only buy something if it was worth it, and if I feel na meant to be yung purchase (they have my size, isa na lang stock, purple o kaya black, naka-sale, puedeng 0% for 12 months, hehehehe)

19. I'm a frustrated writer. I was part of our high school newspaper during my third and fourth year in high school, but I only got one story published, as I mostly did edits. I wrote a few short (love) stories, handwritten and using WordStar (san ka pa?!?), during that time. I wanted to take up creative writing or journalism in college, but I was scared I might get writer's block. I joined (and was accepted!) Collegian during my second year in college, but I unjoined because my Mom couldn't handle the one and only late night I spent in Vinzon's for an article. I guess that's why I blog, to have an outlet for my written musings.

20. I'm creative. Srsly. [Diba, friends? :P] Minsan nauubusan lang talaga ng creative juices. Or ng time. Or ng effort. I have so many projects planned in my head right now -- reconstructing clothes, decorating the house, overhauling the blog's design, but I just can't find the inspiration to start at least one of them.

21. I read sex blogs. I even subscribe to feeds of my favorite blogs -- well-written ones that are not purely about animalistic fucking, or cheesy lovemaking, as in every touch or sound or move is described perfectly. Helpful ang sex blogs lalo na when written by a man -- you get attuned to what a man wants during sex, and can spice up your sex life. Ha.

22. But for instant gratification, I watch porn. Nyahahaha. Online or through downloads. [Y'know the open party scandal, where a group called Stoya was involved in? Hee, I knew Stoya as a porn star as I have watched videos of her online already, and was not surprised a group of boys throwing a party called Lust will call themselves Stoya :P] Again helpful because you get an idea as to what a guy wants during sex. [Is it just the big boobs or loud women? No. Srsly.]

23. I am tigang. Enough said :P

24. I'm not giving up on love, even though love has me jaded and cynical right now. Mas tumaas lang ang expectations ko siguro. I guess I am now a realistic romantic.

25. Honestly, I miss D. I don't know if I miss him as in him talaga or just the illusion of the man I wanted him to be. Because now that I know the truth about his kabits [take note, hindi alleged, and plural ha, they were all true kabits!] (25.a. Oh how I hate kabits! Sorry, I'll judge you talaga if pumayag ka maging kabit), totally nawasak na yung illusion eh. Parang I see him na lang as this lost human being, na I don't know if I'll pity him, or tirisin siya sa galit, or just shake him by the shoulders and say "Ba't ka nagkaganyan?!?" So yeah, I guess I miss D, the D I knew ten years ago, and the D who I thought I loved.

Birthday Wishlist, Huzzah!

2009-01-21T21:38:00.005+08:00

I'm turning 29!!!

Source

And I have 29 things I want for my birthday. HA.

Well, my birthday is still more than a week away, so I guess that's enough time for you and me to empty our bank accounts and buy everything on my wish list. Heh.

>7 THINGS I WANT TO BUY FOR MYSELF

See, I'm not really expecting that you buy me everything. Hahaha.

1. 32GB Ipod Touch

Sold my 16GB Ipod Touch last year as I have to pay off some overdue bills [indirectly caused by D kakainez!].

And I so miss my tunes already -- during commute and at work. And my Veronica Mars!

2. Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II

Source

I want to use some other lens aside from my kit lens, and I think this is the cheapest option for now. And I've seen photos taken by this kind of lens, and I was inggit. Hehehe.

3. Canon IXUS 980IS

Source

The Olympus camera has conked out :( So I want another point-and-shoot that I can bring along everyday :) [That is, won't hog too much space inside my office bag, or make me develop my muscles with its weight. Heh.] This has manual controls too so I can go artsy-fartsy when the need arises.

4. a new phone

The phone I'm using right now was given by D during our anniversary last year. Yeah, I know right, better for me to get rid of it.

I'm thinking either the Nokia e71 (but it's kind of an old model already) or the Nokia 5800.

5. external ~~portable~~ hard drive

It doesn't really have to be portable. I just need enough space so that I can get my files from the PC, and can accommodate one more season of my favorite shows. So I'm thinking of buying 1TB :) Although my budget will settle for 500GB. Heh.

6. shoes!

Source and Source

Fierce davah!!! I already saw the second one in Aldo Galleria. And I saw a look-alike of the first one at CMG [which is of course way cheaper, I bet]. I just have to decide which one to buy ;)

7. An out-of-town trip by myself

I would like to do this in Cebu. I've been to Cebu three times already (IKR?!?) so it won't be that scary an experience -- as I think I'm kind of familiar with the city already. I'd like to stay at Shangri-La's Mactan Island Resort -- so I can be a bit shushal :D

7 THINGS I WANT TO SAVE UP FOR

Not in any order. As if I'll go first for the designer bag than the house, right? Although I might go for the laptop and flash first. Hahahah.

1. A designer bag

Source and Source

Well, it doesn't have to be LV, but I LVoe these two designs. The Speedy is black and simple. While the Neo Cabby is in denim, and in black, san ka pa diba? I like black bags better because I don't think brown [the classic LV color] is bagay with me.

2. A new laptop

I need more space, more speed and more power. It doesn't have to be itty-bitty. I think I want a MacBook, but I might just be wanting it for the geeky-cool factor. Heh.

Darice will get this old one of course. So that she can have all the time in the world to watch her weird YouTube videos. [Dun worry, I do PG naman]

3. Canon EF 24-105mm f/4 L IS USM

Source

A friend told me that if I'm going to invest in new lens, that I should get this. Methinks, if I'm going to get this, I won't use any other lens anymore -- because I'll be too poor to buy new lens already by then! Hahahaha.

4. Canon Speedlite 430EX II Flash

Source

I actually do not have a basis for this. Basta gusto ko lang ng flash, sometime in the future, but not really necessary right now. But I want pa rin.

5. My own house!

With the things happening in my life right now, I think this should be my next big step. The new logistical arrangements are just temporary, and I don't want to live my whole life just renting space diba?! Kinda money down the drain yun, methinks.

6. My own car with driver!

And I will not commute forever! Hahahah.

I'll buy a car only when I can afford a driver already. Hahahahah!

[Had a really really really bad experience driving which just proved I am too taranta-da to drive.]

7. Trip to US or Europe

Shet. I can only die when I've visited US and Europe. So really, win-win situation, because I don't wanna die yet, or anytime in the near future, so I have the whole of my life to save up for this trip. Heh.

THINGS I'VE BEEN DYING TO HAVE LIKE SINCE FOREVAH

These are things that I've been meaning to buy but can't because of either my budget then, or by circumstance (out-of-stock, order online only, etc). But, good things come to those who wait ;)

1. Holga filter set

Source

Borrowed from a friend, used it on my dSLR, and I was hooked! See pictures here!

2. Holga 35mm adapter

Source

I would like to take lomo photos with the sprockets :D And 35mm slide films are more available than 120mm, and I wanna try slide film naman so I can cross-process and get really astig colors :D

3. A purple/black laptop bag that doesn't look like a laptop bag

I've seen so many laptop bags already that fit the above description, but I always always always do not have the budget at that time to buy one! Argh.

There are stylish ones I saw at Digital Walker, and one store in Boni High Street (forgot the name), and they cost almost 3k++. Eh onti na lang Crumpler na yon eh! :P

4. Veronica Mars Season 1 - 3 Original DVDs

Source

So that I can curl up in bed, with a batch of snickerdoodles and hot choco, while I watch the best. damn. show. ever on a big-ass TV (the TV can wait, hence, not here on the wishlist :P)

5. Neptune Noir: Unauthorized Investigations into Veronica Mars

Source

So curious about the essays here. Of course, not to be found in any bookstore here in the Philippines, hahahah.

6. Any Christopher Pike book

What? At least I'm not into R.L Stine.

Yeah actually, I have almost all his books already, hee. But I still don't have some of the earlier ones (Final Friends series for example), and also some of his more adult books (like Sati).

~~7. my own domain~~ and web server

THANK YOU TY AND TRACY FOR THE GODADDY GIFT CARD! MWAH!

I don't know what's wrong with me that I can't just sign up right now as in now na for a domain. I only want one domain (as of now) and I'm pretty sure you know what I want, so please, either buy it for me, or fucking hands off that domain. Kthxbai.

I WANT I WANT I WANT NAO NA!

No, I can't wait. I must have these NOW.

~~1. Eraserheads Reunion Concert DVD~~

OMFG. THANK YOU GIRLS! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! SALAMAT SA PAGSAMA SAKIN SA PAGSALUBONG NG AKING KAARAWAN! MWAAAAAAAAAH.

OMFG. To be released on my birthday to boot! Happy birthday to me talaga!!!! Aylabyu Ely!!!! :DDDDD

2. A ticket for the Eraserheads Reunion Concert: The Final Set

Gold section please!!! And let's be there like by 9am. Hahahaha.

3. We All Have Excess Baggage bag by Kenneth Cole

Source

Ahlavet.

Eco + wit = WIN.

~~4. SUPERPROXY shirt from Francis Magalona's store~~

THANK YOU TO MY PROJECT MATES!!! AHLAVET!!! KULANG NA LANG TICKET SA CONCERT!!!

So I can wear it during the Eraserheads concert, FTMFW diba?!?

5. Astounding Magnetic Rope

Source

I want to fill up one wall in any room with photos and I think these are an ASTOUNDING way to do it. Watchutink?

6. will plurk for karma T-shirt

Source

Yeah, a not so obvious way to show the world I'm addicted to Plurk. Heh.

I wish they'd make other Plurk shirts though.

7. Veronica Mars movie!!!

Please please please please please let it happen please please.

SUNTOK-SA-BUWAN WISH

1. One last date with D.

Coffee and cake in the afternoon, then a movie. Late dinner then drinking and dancing. Then lots of sexy time. Hee.

Er, never mind. Kelangan ko pang sumuntok sa buwan? Effort pa ako, eh birthday ko na nga diba? :P

I don't want to be with a person on my very special day who ~~doesn't want~~ never really wanted to be with me. He doesn't deserve my company and my attention. Oh and my excellent dancing and sexual skills. HA!

And so, ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS:

1. To be with my family and friends, who have done nothing but truly love and care for me all these years.

And I end this very loooooooooooong wish list with this, because I know, you all will be able to fulfill my #1 birthday wish:

THANK YOU :-*

A Love Letter

2009-01-04T06:53:00.004+08:00

I hate you for taking this long to finally realize what you need to do. I hate your lies and your pretensions, for toying with my emotions and playing tricks with my mind. I hate you for not being man enough to take control of your life and your family. I hate that you've let your dependence and attachment to people you've known only for a little while ruin our more than 10-year relationship. I hate your immaturity, your cowardliness and your insecurities.

I am hurt that the last ten years seem to mean nothing to you. I feel unspecial, used, taken for granted. I am hurt that my love isn't enough, that my love and your daughter's love aren't enough. I have made you so unhappy, we've made each other so unhappy. I am devastated that our love, our marriage, has come to this. I am heartbroken knowing that I've lost my husband. I've been missing you for the longest time, and I will miss you now more than ever.

I am scared of the next few days, weeks and months. I am scared of the coming nights, crying myself to sleep, missing your body next to mine while I go to sleep. Sleeping next to you has been my only comfort for almost eight years. I am scared of the days when I won't be able to stop thinking about you, and I won't be able to function. You have been my life, and I never expected that you will not be in it anymore. I am scared I will show weakness and come running back to you and humiliate myself. I fear I might not be able to take care of our daughter by myself. I'm scared of her questions, and I'm scared my answers will not satisfy her. I'm scared of the changes we have to go through, of how this will affect her. I am scared of being alone, when all I've ever known is to be with you.

I am so sorry for everything I have ever said and done to get a reaction out of you. I'm sorry for threatening to leave so many times and not going through with it. I'm sorry for unconsciously using our daughter as leverage. I am sorry for the unconscious demand and pressure to love me the way I love you. I am so sorry if your love isn't enough. I am so sorry for not trusting you, and for your need to lie to me. I am so sorry for making you unhappy, when all I've ever wanted was to make you happy.

Thank you for noticing how the past few years have been affecting me, and finally acknowledging our unhappiness together. Thank you for finally initiating this course of action, for finally deciding with me that it needs to be done, even though it took you so damn long.

Thank you for the past 10 years, 4 months and 25 days. Thank you for falling in love with me and loving me. Thank you for your best efforts in trying to love me even though you've fallen out of love. Thank you for taking care of me and our daughter in your own special way.

I have no idea how to stop loving you, to get over you, and to let you go. This will be harder for me, as you've had half your body out the door already, while I'm still trying to figure out how to open the door.

I love you so much, Dar. I have always loved you. I have always been in love with you, pining for you, missing you, wanting to be with you, do things with you, spend time with you. I have always imagined growing old with you, my husband, the love of my life. I want you in my life, and I need you in my life. That's why I have always chosen you.

And I thank you for showing me that I have to choose myself now, just as you've chosen yourself.

We both deserve to be happy. I guess, not just together.

---

We have decided to separate [operative word: we! yay :D] although logistical details are not yet final. So as of this writing, we are still under one roof, therefore, status quo pa rin.

I am fervently praying and hoping that by the 31st, we already have a concrete plan of attack. Para slightly mas masaya ang birthday ko :)

It is one hell of a way to start out the year, I know. But don't worry, as much as I'm heartbroken to the nth degree right now, I am sooo relieved. Finally :)

The final verdict

2008-12-28T22:42:00.005+08:00

IKR, it's been ten thousand years since I last updated.

This month has been a blur of code reviews, poker nights, BDJ meet-ups, last-minute Christmas shopping, gift-wrapping, dishwashing (yeah, I'm a domesticated diva) and parties.

And so, as a sort of closure: I know you're all DYING to hear what happened after this.

The gist would be this: he finally admitted/realized/found out the reason behind his actions for the past three years.

Yes, he loves me. Because we've been through a lot together, because we're a family.

But he's not in love anymore.

Yeah, I know, right? :(

It explains EVERYTHING -- why he treats me like this, and treats other people better. Why he can let other people in his life, while I remain in the outskirts, just a mere presence, and not an active player.

And he doesn't know what to do about it.

But he wants us, as mother and father, as parents to Darice, to be together as a family.

For now, that's all I can write about. I've written paragraphs already, but it was all incoherent -- lemme gather my thoughts first before I write more about this.

I promise, that blog post will come before the year ends :)

Text-text lang daw?

2008-11-29T03:01:00.002+08:00

gud am

12 n tyo mgkita club 650. trafic e.

wake up!

just woke up. shet anu byan. di ako nggcng sa alarm ng f0n ko.bd3p!

Bilis! Gud am! Mwah!

Txt me pg paalis k n para ligo nako

San b yan?panu papunta? nku. dapat ngwdraw na ko kgbe eh. 50nln pera ko d2. pano ko mgcab?

Mgcab k n. W8 kita.

Cge paals na.

---

Sale s bayo! Punta tyo maya.

Nasa bayo ka? cnu ksama mu?

Dumaan lng. Bumili ako belt. Im wid brian n stan.

ok. napupupu nko.

Tae girl!

---

Bucket meal? Original sayo?

My baon ako. wak na bucket. success pupu!

---

Asan ka?

Y?

Wala ln. ndi kta nakikita eh. mua wag na maasar please.

23rd.

ok.

---

Home. mua.

Gud. Txt me pg alis k p.

ok.

---

Papunta na aixa d2. mligo ln ako. cw? san na kayo?

D2 pa. Waiting.

Waiting 4 2nyt? hehe cnu2 b kyo?

Tae. Dami ngbak-out e.

San kyo punta pala?

Off d gril. tmog.

Ingat. Txt me 4 updates.

tagal aixa bad3p. Punta muna kami kopiroti ni farot nd mark.

D2 na kmi s bahay.

d2 kami kopiroti wit farot nd mark. wala pa aixa. bd3p.

Are you kidding me?!?

Friends lang?

Kulitan lang?

Nagtetext-text lang naman?

Walang masama sa ginagawa niyo?

Sinong niloloko niyo?

Do you think I'm that stupid to believe your reasons?

Are you both that stupid na hindi niyo alam na unacceptable yang ganyang behavior?

Or are you trying to convince yourselves na wala kayong masamang ginagawa para masikmura niyo yang ganyang behavior?

Any way you look at it, it will never be okay, it will never be acceptable, it is no way for a single girl and a married man to be corresponding with each other.

No fucking way.

Belle De Jour Planner 2009: OUT OF STOCK

2008-11-08T16:46:00.010+08:00

THE BELLE DE JOUR PLANNER IS BACK FOR 2009!

Click here for a bigger image

Be the first to get your copy of the Belle de Jour 2009 Power Planner, the ultimate planner for women who want to lead the IT Girl lifestyle. With the Belle de Jour (IT Girl) Power Planner, you have all the time management-based tools, pages, lists to help you manage your priorities. To guide your to living out a fabulous year, you have a power planner complete with affirmations, articles on beauty, time management, health, beauty, travel, career tips and more! Of course, for the inner shopaholic and fashionista in all of us, discount coupons from various lifestyle brands to allow you to live the Belle de Jour lifestyle.

Belle de Jour has improved with new special pages, and retained what we loved about the planner for the IT girl in all of us! :)

A new special page: for daydreaming -- as they say, libre ang mangarap! :)

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Dream Board Page: The next time you see a falling star, don’t just close your eyes and whisper the dream away. Jot it down on your personal dream board and whisk it into reality.

Of course, there's still the menstrual tracker, introduced in last year's planner.

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Menstrual Tracker: Keep track of those “special” days. Knowing your menstrual symptoms, flows, and patterns is vital to your health.

And here's the monthly spread, for goals/errands/parties scheduled for the month.

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Of course, the weekly spread for more detailed planning.

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Belle de Jour Power Planner is flexible for all sorts of users. Whatever planner type you are, we got you covered.

If you’re a time schedule planner: We placed time slots for your meetings, so you can block off certain meetings and tasks during the day. Remember to keep things simple so you won’t get overwhelmed. Be realistic with your schedules—make your time tangible. As requested, we brought back daily action lists or to-do lists for your use. Also utilize the top three rows in this section for your MITs (Most Important Tasks).

If you’re a free space planner: There’s a reason why we made the numbers and the lines light. You can use the lines as guides to jot down tasks, but if you’d rather use the area as a free space for your daily notes, then you can choose to ignore the lines. The bottom area of the pages is your free space—use it as you please. You may jot down random thoughts, such as things you are thankful for, people you’ve met, emails to make, random tasks, etc. It’s yours to categorize and label. Remember, this is your planner.

Click here for a bigger image

And of course, the accompanying articles that will guide us in having the best 2009 evah! Yeah!

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60 COUPONS BABEEEEEH!!! The planner comes with atleast Php 1,000 worth of freebies (no minimum requirement) and around Php 10,000 worth of discounts!!

From all these fantabulous brands: Ace Water Spa, Aldo, All Flip Flops/ Havaianas, Azta Urban Salon, Bizu, BYSI, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Celine, Charles and Keith, Chocolate Clothing, CMG, Crossings The Ramp, Cupcakes by Sonja, David & Goliath, Esprit, Flojos, FlyShades, Folded and Hung, ForMe, Fox, Freeway, Garnier, Gmask/ The White Hat, Guinot, Heaven and Eggs, I Love Cocco, Iora, Jelly Bean, Karimadon, Kashieca, La Senza, Le Donne, Maybelline, Memo, Penshoppe, Philosophy by Mikaela, Promod, RedBox Karaoke, Schu, Seventeen (Cinderella), Shujikida Salon, So Fab!, Suesh Brushes, The Face Shop, The Natural Source, Timex, and Wade!!

Five sample coupons from the 2009 planner (Screencaptured from the Belle De Jour website):

And this year's planner comes with the BDJ Forget-Me-Not Notepad and Coupon Holder!

Now you can take your coupons anywhere, even if you're using a smaller bag for the day!

Love it that they thought of the coupon holder :D Sometimes, you don't want to lug your planner when you're going shopping, and the little notebook helps a lot, specially if you're a list maker like I am. Hee.

Belle De Jour's website offers more information regarding the 2009 planner: planner highlights and sample pages, coupons and accredited resellers.

And yes, I am an accredited reseller! :D

Okay, about the price.

SRP is P598.

ETA:

For additional 20 pesos, you can order the planner in a box!

The box is perfect specially when you're going to give the planner as a gift :D

This will be the first time I'll be selling online, so I don't know shit about shipping and all. I can only do meet-ups, Ortigas area during weekdays (McDonald's in front of Meralco Compound or Robinson's Galleria), and either SM Marikina, Robinson's Metro East or Eastwood during weekends.

[Of course, if you're an officemate of mine reading this, ibang usapan na diba? Hehehe]

Payment will me made during the meet up :)

And so, for inquiries and orders:

Email: missyosigirl at gmail dot com (please put "belle de jour planner" in the subject, thanks!)
YM: miss_yosi_girl (only if my status is online or I'm-on-SMS)
Multiply PM: missyosigirl

Include your cell number please, so I can reply thru text.

I'll be getting my first batch of planners next Friday night. I think I may have around a dozen units that aren't reserved yet. Therefore, if you're one of those people who will get to order those 12 planners, you can get your order by next weekend :)

Please be gentle, as I'm a first-time online seller! :D I'm really excited about this, and I'm hoping this won't be the last time I'll be selling online :)

---

All rights reserved. No part of the planner or the website, including but not limited to, concepts, sections, articles, lay-outs, designs, may not be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of Viviamo! Inc./Belle de Jour Enterprises, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Any violations will be legally prosecuted.

walang gana

2008-10-15T12:33:00.002+08:00

i only have enough energy to function as an employee.

and as a mother.

other than that, deads, kebs o kaya -_-

sorry friends.

i need some cheering up, pero i don't think you guys can help me. i have to do this on my own. i have to scrape the bottom of the barrel before i can jump out of it. [did that make sense at all?!?]

so if ever mercury retrograde passes and i'm still like this, pasensya na sa flakiness, pag-ditch or sa pagbago ng isip. i wouldn't be good company either.

dun worry, i will get out of this rut.

i just want to stay in it lang muna.

R is for Random

2008-10-12T19:07:00.004+08:00

I got this from Toni, and she gave me the letter R :) I have to write about 10 things I love that starts with the letter R.

Here goes:

Rice - I love rice so much, I had to cut back on it to maintain my voluptous figure AHAHAHAHHA.

Rum Coke - my go-to at-home drink of choice.

Real Genius - Val Kilmer was <3<3<3 in this movie. One of my simple pleasures :)

Rachel McAdams <3 Ryan Gosling - Yey for being back together! Please don't ever break up again!

Ryan Reynolds - Alanis' ex-fiance, had the best lines in Trinity Blade, rocked Van Wilder Party Liaison, bad-ass in Smokin' Aces, and my list will go on and on :P

Road trip - especially if it's an awesome beach destination!

Read - books, magazines, blogs, manuals, the back of a cereal box, heh.

Romance - I may seem like a cynic, but it takes so little to sweep me off my feet :)

Riches - Hehehe. Need I explain this? :P

Rumors - I admit, I'm a gossip. Celebrity gossip, blog gossip, office gossip. Hihihi.

Want your own letter? Just tell me in the comments. Toodles! :)

Scanner Happy

2008-09-24T19:28:00.006+08:00

My dad, who is a SAHD (stay-at-home dude :P), has been scanning old pictures this week (bago kaya scanner nila?) and has been sending some of the scanned images to me the past few days.

First email, with subject: Our First Baby and Car

Yes, I look like a troll. And I already have a protruding tummy 28 years ago.

Another email he sent was with subject 3 Marias. Body of the email read "wala pa ang dalawang asungot" referring to my younger brothers. Heh.

[oh hey my sisters will kill me for this hahahahha but beware of 80s hair and fasyon!]

And then he sent a bunch of baby pictures:

And written in one of his emails:

In as much as the negatives for these pics are either gone or have deteriorated, I am beginning to scan my collection of pics. At the same time I am furnishing the persons who might be interested in the pics.

Hanube. So serious ha, Dadox. Deadpan kung deadpan talaga ha.

Yes, I got my sense of humor from him.

Yes, I got my love for movies, music, books and photography from him.

Haaay. I miss Dadox.

Flickr Meme

2008-09-19T06:28:00.001+08:00

Got this from Wifelysteps :D

The concept:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste the html into your blog or Flickr stream. Or use the Mosaic Maker at fd’s Flickr Toys.

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Looked up your flickr name and see what pops up.

And for my answers:

1. University College, Oxford (Shelley Memorial), 2. chocolate therapy - day 63, 3. MCHS '83 Alumni Homecoming, 4. Purple fingers, 5. Ely Buendia for Pupil, 6. coke.jpg, 7. Europe Tower, 8. Light New York Style Baked Cheesecake (like I remember Mrs Goldstein used to make), 9. writer's teeth, 10. Day 306: tomorrow is a new day, 11. Alvord Mosaic, 12. Consultations with Mr. Cool

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

10 Years Ago: Doing the Deed

2008-09-09T08:12:00.004+08:00

From here:

"So... tayo na ba?", he asked.

I fidgeted, although a smile was creeping up my lips. "Ikaw..."

"Anniv na natin ngayon, para di na maraming tatandaan na dates", he said, grinning.

"Tanungin mo muna ako..." I was trying to be hard-to-get! I wanted him to ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend -- a long time cheesy romantic fantasy of mine.

He hesitated a bit. "Mahal mo ba ako?"

Although I became mildly disoriented by the question, I didn't hesitate and answered, "Oo".

And it got sealed by a kiss.

Although I was asking myself, "Mahal ko na nga ba sya?"

And as we held each other tighter, and the kiss deepened, and my heart beat faster and faster, I threw caution to the wind, and thought with a resolve, "Mahal ko na nga sya".

Really, love, mahal? I think not, well, at that time. Must be them after-sex endorphins warping our brains then. Heh.

---

So, whirlwind romance, I has it 10 years ago.

What started out as a teenybopper-high-school movie, accelerated into an R-rated romance flick, which rapidly developed into the longest-running telenovela series of my life. [In which every September 9 for the past 9 years was celebrated with some kind of issue or baggage (except for 2005).]

But then, I'll always have those days 10 years ago, when everything was as simple as weekly phone calls, tuksuhan, getting kilig over a car ride to class, discovering he's into me too, impromptu movie dates, making out EVERYWHERE, and finally, and officially becoming a couple.

---

Happy 10th year, D.

Happy 3rd year, my hubby.

Oktoberfest 120

2008-09-07T22:23:00.004+08:00

The first and only time I've been to Oktoberfest was four years ago. It was opening night, and was held in Metrowalk, which was walking distance from where I worked. We didn't need to look for parking, because my officemates can just leave their cars wherever they parked that morning, and then walk to Metrowalk for free beers and music.

Oh boy, if only we knew that free beers and music also included having to rub elbows with *undesirable* people. And that the free beer meant stale draft beer in plastic cups. And that it would be a bitch looking for a place to make tambay as we watch the performers.

Oh, and that we'd have beer thrown haphazardly at us by over-eager Oktoberfest goers [read: drunk men who were getting excited over True Faith's performance].

I swore to everybody I was with that day that I will never ever go to an Oktoberfest opening ever again.

Never ever again.

But hey, guess who was at San Miguel Avenue last September 5, trying to elbow her way in through the crowd, as *undesirable* people were rubbing themselves all over her body [I hope, unintentionally, of course]?

Yes, I've eaten my words, and *nom nom* hmm tastes good, if slightly bitter. Heh.

It was a gold ticket after all. 3eb + 5 beers + food + airconditioned tent = SULIT NA NOH. Kahit na sabihin na natin na we still had to go through hell to enter the venue and the VIP section, and that paubos na yung food when we got to the tent, and we only got 3 out of our 5 beers. Hehehe.

Okay feetur-teking time!

Fireworks after Rivermaya

The Crowd

Bloomfields

Jump!

Bloomfields and the crowd

Out of Body Special - The Vox, Two Guitarists and the Saxophonist

Out of Body Special - The Percussionist, Bassist (?) and the Pianist

Finally, it's Third Eye Blind

Signature Stephan Jenkins

You rock!

Pretty purple haze

She wanted her mug signed by the band? Dunno. Heh.

The Oktoberfest Brew - San Miguel Pale Pilsen Limited Edition

I wanted to take more pictures of 3EB, that is, to experiment on how to get their photos without any heads or hands blocking my view, however a burly bouncer started demanding we stop taking photos with our SLRs. Shet. Pero scary siya so I didn't dare na lang uli. Hehe.

And that's it. I'll be avoiding any venue this Friday (or for the next 24 Fridays) that will host Oktoberfest, as I need to recover from the heat, sweat, and inappropriate physical contact that I experienced during the kickoff party.

I need some space, man.

Toodles.

10 Years Ago: Can't Hardly Date

2008-09-04T21:18:00.004+08:00

But let's backtrack a day first.

So, its the day after the phone call

[You'd think with a guy, who I was into, professing his like for me will be enough for me. But no. This other guy (codenamed Simon) I was into was also all over the place! I mean, I would see Simon only about twice a week, but that day after the phone call I saw him twice! Oh well, when it rains, it's four. Heh.]

He drove me to three of my classes -- one at Eng'g, then at Math, then back to Eng'g. My blockmate and I sat-in in his Kom II class, with our press release being that we were there because of my blockmate's BFF (the BFF was really in his class). But obviously we were there because of him. And meron pang pa-akbay-akbay na ginawa sakin after their class! Okay lang naman sakin, wala akong reklamo, hahaha!

And oh my, the tuksuhan sa tambayan.

So sue me if my heart couldn't contain the kilig that day.

And that's why, with our almost-requisite-already phone call that night, I asked him out.

Okay, so you're back in your seats? [I'm thinking either you fell, or you barfed]

Eh naman kasi, ang pakipot! Parang paikot-ikot yung pinaguusapan ata namin nung gabing yon, alam ko naman na dun rin hahantong!

And with the title of this blog post, I guess you know what movie we watched, eh?

So how did it go?

If you're after the movie review, click here.

Let me and him and our friends tell you about it :)

A part of our AVP for our wedding reception, produced by Buddy Gancenia
[Ang payat ko!!! Ang payat naming lahat non!!!
Hindi ako telegenic... or maybe wala kasi akong ka-make-up-make-up diyan. Parang ang dugyot ko tignan! Hehehe]

Would you believe I still have something from that day, as some sort of a souvenir, that has stood the test of time?

No, it's not the tickets or tissue from where we ate (KFC)!

Heh, yep, a cassette tape copy of MTV Soul'd Out -- the first of the thousands of times he will buy something for me :)

---

So I guess that was September 4, 1998, exactly 10 years ago.

You might be thinking what was so special about it, aside from being the day of our first date? Well, I made an enlightening discovery that day: that I kiss on the first date pala! Hehehehehehe!

"So what did you see in Boracay?"

2008-09-04T21:16:00.001+08:00

On our first morning, we saw clouds.

Lots of them.

And BIG WAVES.

The clouds never let up, even in the afternoon.

And there were "wind breakers/catchers/whathaveyous" along the shore.

Di ko type ang itsura ng Bora pag August, that's fosho.

Oh well, at least we got to see a fire dancer the night before. [Okay ba sa segway? Wehehehe.]

Oooh, and there were sand castles only at night... I think we didn't see any sand castle when the sun was up because it was high tide.

Okay, high tide + clouds = Boracay fail. Pfft.

But then the sun and the skies made it up to us on our last afternoon.

Sige na nga, winner na rin ;)

10 Years Ago: Crush

2008-09-03T17:48:00.000+08:00

I don't know what happened during that phone call, or why he called in the first place. Basta at the end of that conversation, he confessed that he has a crush on me.

Obviously, September 2, 1998 ended on a high note for me.

I don't remember though if I confessed I had a thing for him too during that conversation. Heh.

I know it all sounds or looks GP-rated, when everything happened during our second year in college already. I assure you things will take on a more R-rated turn the next few days ;)

Legen - wait for it - dary: Eraserheads Reunion Concert

2008-09-02T23:10:00.003+08:00

I have a confession to make: I am from UP Diliman, and during my extended stay I have NEVER watched the Eraserheads play live during any UP event that had them as a guest.

Strict ang parents ko eh.

But I have seen them perform live before college.

I was in first year high school ('93-'94) the first time I have ever heard of them, and frankly, I didn't like them that much. But then, I saw them perform live, for the first time ever, during the HS fair variety show -- and I fell in love.

I fell in love with the band, the songs, and yes, I fell in love with Ely.

Fast forward to almost 14 years later.

And I realize, having seen them perform live again, I am still in love.

With Ely, with the Eraserheads, and with their music.

---

It all started with a rumor -- that the Eraserheads will have a reunion concert on August 30, 2008, and that it will be free. No other definite details were known then. There were speculations that Marlboro was organizing/sponsoring the event, and so I registered at marlboro.ph just to score those precious free tickets (albeit unsuccessfully, as I was not ready with any image of a document to upload then proving that I was not a minor, and I lost my tracking number).

August came and a lot of hoopla was raised regarding Marlboro's involvement with the concert. There were talks that the concert was going to be cancelled, but I never lost hope.

A few days before August 30, news finally came out that Marlboro was pulling out of the concert and that a new organizer will be handling the event. I wanted to be on Plurk all the time during those days because fritz and karlaredor were getting all these information about the concert and plurking about it, but I couldn't because Plurk was blocked in our office internet. So I did the next best thing -- I checked fritz's blog and karlaredor's blog every hour or so, heh.

Details were finalized by Wednesday, August 27 -- tickets were going to be sold for 1300 and 800 pesos by Ticketworld. There was a mad scramble online for the tickets that, I think, slowed down Ticketworld's site to a crawl. Thursday, August 28, I was in Megamall, lining up at NBS Ticketworld, rationalizing that in a way, paying for the tickets in cash is less of a hassle than paying online using a credit card then lining up to claim the tickets.

Thursday, August 28, 12:59PM, the Ticketworld girl handed me my Eraserheads Reunion Concert tickets -- dizizit!!!

---

We arrived at the Fort a little past 4pm. D and I ate a hearty early dinner at Claw Daddy while we waited for my friends to get their tickets.

That was the crowd that greeted us as we entered the Fort open field.

And oh my, the security. I brought the SLR because our point-and-shoot camera is brokinated, and I wanted to try if they'll allow the SLR to be brought in. First line of security, they didn't ask what was inside the pouch bag (hehe, the SLR). Well, they did ask if I had any ballpens in my bag. Thankfully, wala naman. Second line of security, no questions asked again about the pouch bag. And then third line of security, wherein we had to present our tickets, I thought I was home free, but then the girl who checked my bag asked what was inside the pouch bag.

I of course truthfully answered, and said it was a camera. She said I should take it out of the pouch, kasi bawal daw yung camera ko, may mahaba daw kasi. I said my lens weren't telephoto (which was true!), but then she called a bulky guy to check out my camera, as she wasn't familiar with camera types. I was seriously getting nervous already as I was causing human traffic and gaining attention from other security types. The bulky guy then came closer and squinted at my lens.

"Puede yan, sige"

Whoopeedoo!!!

---

And then the waiting. It was a good hour and a half of standing and claiming space near the right side of the railings. We started out about 7 bodies away from the railings, but then as 8pm approached, we were getting pushed backwards by people who were making singit all over!!! We started boxing-out people who would dare pass by our area by making them dedma as they try to squeeze themselves and saying "Excuse me".

And oh dear lord, the heat. And the sweat. And the smell of sweat emanating from guys! D couldn't stand the body contact -- he preferred to stay at the left side of the stage, farther from the railing, which had more air. And so he stayed with his friends.

I wanted to really experience the concert so I patiently waited with my friends in that masikip and sweaty and hot area.

[But being the sweet (and pasikat :P hehehe) hubby that he is, he was the one who lined up and bought refreshments for us.]

---

A few minutes after 8, the screens showed 10:00. A countdown started. The crowd went wild.

The countdown ended, and the crowd went wilder! The screens started showing photos of the band from the early years. The crowd was getting more excited with every photo -- I was literally screaming my lungs out already!!!

And then viola, they were on stage, singing Alapaap!!!!

Okay, okay, for more impact, watch how it all went down, from the end of the countdown, to the reminiscing and how they rose up in hydraulic stages to sing Alapaap:

My heart was just bursting with so many emotions that night. The band I have loved for most of my high school life, that I still love so so so dearly up to now, was together again, and making music together, for us! So what if they did it for the money primarily?! One way or another, they did it for us, the fans, for each of our individual memories of the Eraserheads way back when they were together. Even though they wanted to disassociate their names from the Eraserheads already, and lead their own lives again with their own bands, they reunited for one night to be with us once again.

Photo taken by Jorem Catilo

---

And oh boy, I still had so much love for Ely.

Photo taken by Jorem Catilo

He will always be my rock star love.

Abi and I kept shouting "Ang guwapo mo Ely!!! Aylaaaaabyuuuuuuu!!!" Heh.

---

There were so many memories of that night.

The fireworks at the end of Alapaap. Ely starting the song Toyang with "They tried to tell us we're too... old". Raimund's wig. Ely shaking his head to Shake Yer Head. UP Diliman scenes on the screens while they sang Sembreak. People chanting "Group hug! Group hug! Group hug!"

And the best memory: feeling nostalgic, overwhelmed, excited, ecstatic, with my heart on overdrive with so many strong emotions.

I guess each of us in the crowd have our own special memory of that night.

---

But I guess one memory we all shared was tragic.

After Lightyears, the lights went out and a 20-minute countdown clock appeared on stage.

But after more than 20 minutes, the lights weren't back on yet.

Then, Buddy, Raimund and Marcus came on stage, with Lally Buendia, Ely's sister.

Photo taken by Jorem Catilo

You all know what happened: Ely collapsed backstage during intermission and had to be rushed to the hospital due to physical and emotional stress.

The concert then will be cut short.

Shocked is an understatement. Everybody was quiet, couldn't react, couldn't move.

It was the end.

---

For a few minutes, I thought Ely shouldn't have pushed through with the concert -- his mom did just die last Thursday morning. The emotional stress of his mom's death plus the physical stress brought upon by last-minute preparations and the concert itself and the suffocating heat that night will definitely take its toll. Add to that his weak heart, and there is a possibility that things might turn sour.

But I brushed it off because despite all those things, who just gave me a once in a lifetime experience?

---

With the shroud of mystery surrounding the concert when it was just a rumor, for all the hoopla regarding Marlboro and DOH, with the mad scramble for tickets.

Then the countdown, band rising from hydraulic stages, wild screams, fireworks. Songs that you thought you'd never hear again performed live by them.

And yes, abruptly it all ended.

But in a way, didn't it become more legendary?

---

There are people who watched the concert and the topic of refund will come out. Or those who didn't watch saying that hindi namin nasulit yung concert. It's just not right, IMHO, thinking of a refund, after that night, after that experience, after what happened to Ely. And how can it not be sulit? I just saw my most favorite Pinoy band ever, who broke up 6 years ago, be together once again, to sing 15 of their songs! How much more sulit can it get?

---

Although I can't help but imagine how the second set would've felt like. Especially after this post made the round of blogs (and Plurk) the next day -- would I still have a heart or would it have just exploded out of so much love for the Eraserheads if they did just that?

And oh, how they still love each other:

In fact they were so excited about all the gimmicks and couldn't wait to party with the audience. "Nag-usap pa nga sila kung may mga kailangang saluhin na kanta just in case (di na kaya ni Ely)," the source said.

And oh, how Ely put so much effort:

"And Ely said, hindi, kakanta ako!"

---

And with that Ely quote, I share with you this photo:

Photo taken by Jorem Catilo

Thank you, Ely, for giving it all you've got despite the circumstances.

And thank you Raimund, Buddy and Markus for giving us Eraserheads fans a once in a lifetime experience.

---

As a footnote, I ask this: would you want another reunion concert? For me, well, one part of me is saying, yes of course, I want another reunion concert, but another part of me is okay with how things went during the first one that there really is no need for another one.

But there are rumors to a part 2 of the reunion concert sparked by this letter of Raimund to several mailing lists.

Of course I wouldn't mind another reunion concert!

But please, all I ask is to make sure Ely is fit and able and healthy enough to finish all the sets that you will plan for us.

10 Years Ago: All Good

2008-08-31T17:58:00.002+08:00

I guess if there's a soundtrack to what happened 10 years ago, one of the songs in it would be Mo Thugs' All Good.

Part of the lyrics that made sense then:

Let me listen to your heartbeat. Boom, boom, racing in this situation. Is it gettin' kind of hot in here? No, that's you, Temperature's rising so am I.

Because of the heart-pounding ride in his car, I dubbed him as HBB :)

Sorry na sa kabaduyan, uso saming friends ang code names non eh :P

---

Well, it still makes sense now, y'know, riding in his car and making your heartbeat go boom boom. Just ask anyone who has experienced his driving. Heh.

See you later, Ely...

2008-08-30T14:35:00.001+08:00

"So what did you eat in Boracay?"

2008-08-28T18:16:00.001+08:00

Our must-haves for the trip: Aria and D'Talipapa.

At Aria, I asked for an oil-based pasta, and they gave us Aglio, Olio e Peperoncino.

Just oil, garlic and chilli peppers, pero okay na okay nako na yun lang ang kainin ko. Hehehe. Abi then requested I make something similar to the pasta when we get home. Hmmm... something to add to my pasta-in-oil repertoire heh.

We had two other pasta and a pizza, and even though the prices were a tad bit over our budget, it was all worth it.

And then we had seafood galore at D'Talipapa. Well, we didn't really get all kinds of seafood -- we only got the biggest prawns ever and a bunch of squids and oysters.

Oh and of course how can I forget the drinks? :)

And what is a trip to Boracay without tasting some of those Jonah's milk shakes? :)

We all had rhum mixed with our milk shakes! Shet! Sarap! Since ang lamig ng hangin that morning, the rhum gave us our much needed fuzzy warm feelings. Ehehehhe. [Yes, morning, so what? :P]

And then, During one of our nights out, we went to Cocomangas to have a look at those infamous 15 shots.

No, we didn't have 15 shots each. Hehehe. Mahina ang kalaban, meaning ako :P Abi, MJ and I had 5 shots each only. Besides Abi's name was already on the wall, so okay lang. And just to prove how weak I was after downing those 5 shots, I asked if we can go home na less than 30 minutes after our last shot. Heh. Antok nako eh!!!!

And so, Boracay fed us well. As for the sights, that's for the next post :) Toodles!

10 Years Ago: The VW Polo Drive-by

2008-08-27T17:18:00.007+08:00

Disclaimer, lalo na sa mga taong nagbabasa neto na kilala ako, or kilala ako at si D: Prepare to cringe. Or maybe hurl. Or both.

Oo, galing yan sa planner ko 10 years ago. Wala kang planner non?
Baduuuuuuuuy! :P Okay joke lang.
Parang diary slash planner na nga ang nangyari diyan kasi aside from sinusulat ko kung kelan merong exam o merong due na paper or machine problem, sinusulat ko rin yung highlights ng araw na lumipas. Minsan eh emoticons lang at mga codewords ang gamit ko -- ako lang makakaalam kung ano talaga ang ibig sabihin non.

Hassle talaga ang meron kang klase sa Math building at kasunod mong klase eh nasa kabilang dulo ng mundo na after ten thousand years ka makakarating kung magiintay ka ng Toki na jeep.

Isang sem, meron kaming klase sa Math building, at ang kasunod neto ay isang EE class sa NEC (katabi ito ng Engg). Ang gawain namin ng blockmate ko eh maglalakad galing sa Math papuntang NEC , kasi bibihira ang Toki jeep ng ganong oras. Ang daan namin non ay galing sa likod ng Math, lalabas kami sa may UP Elementary School, Narra Hall at Educ. Pagdating doon ay kakanan kami papuntang AS at dadaan saglit sa may tambayan sa Main Libe walk. Galing sa Main Libe walk, didiretsuhin na namin papuntang NEC.

Sa isang araw na tinatahak namin ang rutang yan, biglang merong humintong kotse sa tabi namin, ng papalapit na kami sa Main Libe walk.

"Uy" bati ng blockmate ko sa kanya.

"San kayo?" ang bati ng driver samin habang pababa ang bintana.

"Sa NEC" sagot ng blockmate ko.

"Hatid ko na kayo". Sumakay ang blockmate ko sa likod. So I guess, sa harap ako uupo.

Hindi ko na alam ang sunod na nangyari. Alam kong merong mga tanong na naitanong ("Anong class niyo?" "Sinong prof?") at may mga sagot na sinagot ("EE14" "Si Sir Hindi-Ko-Na-Maalala-Ang-Pangalan-Niya-Ngayon").

Di ko nga lang alam kung nakaimik ako o kaya nakapagsalita man lang.

Pero ramdam ko na merong isang malaking ngiti na gustong magpakita sa aking mukha. Ramdam ko na bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko at biglang nanlamig ang mga kamay ko. Hindi ako makatingin ng diretso sa nagmamaneho, pero gusto ko siyang pagmasdan.

Sa ilang segundo na yon, na nagmaneho siya galing sa Main Libe walk papuntang NEC, meron akong realisasyon. Isang realisasyon na magbabago pala ng buhay ko. As in forever.

Fine, kukingina. May gusto na ako sa kanya.

Nang makarating kami sa NEC, ang nasabi ko lang ata eh "Thank you" with matching ngiti. Sabay baba agad at kinaladkad ang blockmate ko sa isang sulok. Sinilip ko saglit kung nakapagmaneho na siya paalis.

At nung nakita ko na wala ng pulang VW Polo sa aking sight, ako ay nagtititili.

Fine, kukingina. May gusto talaga ako sa kanya.

Halos tatlong buwan na kulitan sa tambayan at sa telepono, at ni minsan hindi ko binigyan ng kahulugan. Kulang sa limang minuto na pinagmaneho niya kami galing sa Main Libe hanggang NEC, nagtititili ako bigla.

Fine, kukinginashet naman. May gusto rin kaya siya sakin?

Ay saglit... pareho nga pala kaming may sabit...

---

Obvious naman na kung bakit "VW POLO" ang codeword sa planner ko noong ika-27 ng Agosto 1998? ;)

"So what did you do in Boracay?"

2008-08-27T05:57:00.001+08:00

Let's start with the athletic activities.

The girl from our resort (Royal Park Resort Hotel) asked us (well, them lang siguro :P) if we were athletes! As in! Eh tama naman, mga basketball, frisbee and badminton star players kasama ko eh!

We rented some bad-ass ATVs to go up Mt. Luho. Even though I wasn't feeling so bad-ass the first few minutes we were practicing :-/

Because being the non-bike-rider or non-car-driver that I am, I was scared shitless the first few minutes because I was SUUUUUUUUURE I will drive straight into a ditch or a bush or into a moving vehicle.

But I didn't, so yay for me!!!!

At the peak, you can see all over Boracay.

And then we went reefwalking! Well, except for the MVP because she had a cold and she feared she might have a harder time breathing inside the sea helmet.

The sea helmet gave me a weird claustrophobic feeling. I almost forgot I could breathe inside the helmet because I was holding my breath hehehehe. And the pressure down below was making my smoked-out lungs such a workout =| After feeding the fishies, I wanted to go back up already. Also, I had this fear that I would tilt the helmet, let water inside it, and drown because I panicked. [I have a really active imagination]

I didn't use the Olympus camera during our reefwalking because the water was too deep. The camera can only be used underwater up to 3m deep, or else it will be brokinated. Which it also did but I'll tell you more later on in this post.

However, the reefwalking guides were renting out their underwater camera (which used film) for 600 pesoses. Well, we thought it wasn't worth 600 pesoses, so we only have this picture of us underwater:

Heh. That's Aivee and Abi (with the white helmet) BTW.

---

And so with these very athletic activities, we'd need lots of food, and yes we did a lot of eating while we were in Boracay, too. [I was able to eat rice FTW!]

Which I will make kuwento sa next post na. Hehehehe. Toodles!

Who Wrote This?

2008-08-25T18:41:00.004+08:00

If ever I'd fall
I'd fall for you
If I could waste myself and drink gallon after gallon after gallon of this spirit with you
To mitigate your pain and to kill the time you never had
I would
For you
With you
If I could write the happiest lines it would be about you --
The way you would most likely read your favorite bedtime story to me to transport me to my
Dreamland
If I could suffer and sacrifice it would be for you
Because I care for you
Enough to
Give me the courage to challenge
Death
If I could listen to music with you
I would choose to listen to the beating of our hearts
On a starry, moony night
If I could hold your hand tonight
I would never let go
And demand more:
An embrace
A kiss
A caress
A gentleness
That could only come from you.
If adoration comes close to obsession
Then believe when I say that I adore you;
You're my latest and last obsession...

Best part IMHO in bold.

Was rummaging thru stuff and discovered a printout of the poem above. I can't for the life of me remember where I got it or who wrote it.

Help?

---

ETA: Tama si sisterette Janine, now I remember... I did get it from her, and she got it from our high school newspaper, the Magnificat (of course I remember, hello, I was part of it for 2 years!). So I guess that is why best friend Google couldn't find it -- it was still in it's pure typewritten form. Heh.

10 Years Ago: How It All Started

2008-08-20T10:01:00.002+08:00

Click here for the slightly bigger image

From the "introduction" page of a scrapbook I made for D for Valentines 2000

---

This will be the start of a series of blog posts, as a sort of countdown for the 10th anniversary. D and I may be in a weird domestic situation right now, but that will not stop me from fondly remembering the days that led to us being a couple.

So please, bear with the cheese, and let me giddily reminisce :) [o diba, rhyming? :P]

I Has a Life

2008-07-30T21:19:00.002+08:00

... I just don't have the time and energy to write everything down.

---

Movies I was able to watch the past couple of months: Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr. FTW!!!!), Sex and the City (fashion overload, yey!), Hulk (Edward Norton <3 <3 <3), The Happening (meh), Kung Fu Panda (Po is Jack Black panda-fied), Wanted (best unbelievable action sequences evah!), Hancock (meh), Journey to the Center of the Earth (more on that laterz), Mamma Mia (Abba overload, w00t!) and of course The Dark Knight (I don't think words are enough).

Speed Racer and Indiana Jones: movies I wasn't able to watch because the hubby, who has known me for the past 10 years, watched the said movies with his officemates and didn't even think that 1) I wanted to watch said movies, 2) that I rarely watch movies with other people because 3) I want to watch movies with him. Yun na nga lang ang ginagawa namin together (aside from sexy time of course), ibibigay pa sa ibang tao! Dyusme, naiyak talaga ako sa sobrang frustration that time!!!

Fine, that happened, it's over, we've moved on and we were able to watch other movies pa. I did tell him that it was okay if he's going to watch a movie with other people, but come on, at least tell your movie-buff wife who is most probably expecting to watch every big movie that opens each week WITH YOU that you went ahead and watched it already. Eh I had to ask pa kaya. Yes, I know you might be thinking that he can watch the movie again, with me, but guess who HATES watching a movie more than once? Yeah, him, so yeah, fat chance diba?

---

Okay moving on to better topics.

Guess who has a newly approved credit card? :D

Ang guess where I'll be maxing out the credit limit this Friday? :P

Okay, no, I will not max out my 1 million pesoses credit limit. Hahahaha. Seriously, I'm going to set a budget for myself on Friday. Sale starts at 12nn, so sakto, I can already buy some stuff during lunch at Galleria. Then after work, I'll head on to the Podium naman.

I love buying from Topshop and Dorothy Perkins, especially on sale, because 1) they have my size, and 2) they have my size, and 3) THEY HAVE MY FREAKING SIZE!!! Ahahahahhahah :))

---

Okay, so I did say something about giving the itty-bitty no-sew jeans a test drive right?

Gawd, ahlavet!!! We danced, danced and danced some more. My shoes killed me that night -- I was wearing 4-inch wedges wehehehehe. I really had to sit down most of the time because I was having the insane urge to just take off my shoes and dance barefoot :P

After exhausting ourselves on the dance floor, we decided to eat an early early early meal of breakfast at Something Fishy in Eastwood. Sowz. Cradle of the beast, in my short skirt, high wedges, and weak knees. Good thing I didn't see D (or D with some girl :P) that early morning. Ha.

And then the next morning, I had the most serious hangover ever since that night last year I had those 3-for-the-road shots. Dehydration to the highest level itu! Siguro nga kasi nakainom na, napagod pa sa kakasayaw. Ayan, sakit tuloy ng ulo ko buong araw. I literally slept the whole day. Saya! Haha.

[Two-page "scrapbook" slideshow is brought to you by Scrapblog. I loves it!!! It's for the tamad digiscrapper in me, because the elements and backgrounds are organized. And I don't have to make karir unlike in Photoshop kasi kung anu-anong effect pa gusto kong gawin sa Photoshop. With the Scrapblog, I know they're kinda low-tech lang, so low-tech lang talaga expectations ko. Hahahaha.]
---

Close na kami ni Anton!!!!

Heheheh.

So, I dragged Dar to The Block to watch Journey to the Center of the Earth, with tickets c/o Anton. You'd think kid's stuff, but well, the effects were just well, awesome! And of course, better because it was a 3D movie showing.

Funny thing was, at the office, I was seriously getting nervous because 1) I'm really a shy person and 2) I don't know how to talk. Yes, I don't know how to talk at all. Pramis! I stutter, with words tumbling out of my mouth. I get too excited. Or I will just be plain aloof. I'm only friendly with friends, not with people na I have just met (sakit ko to. D hates it when I get like that).

So pinoproblema ko na ang aking anti-social issues, and also my nosebleed issues. Shet, anong gagawin ko pag iningles ako ni Anton?!? Waaah.

And then when I met Anton and Rache and they were making kuwento, I was like, why did I just spend my afternoon worrying about how to talk to these two?!? They were so down-to-earth, no airs at all (I wasn't thinking naman na they'd be ahm airy :P), and they can speak Tagalog! Ahahahahahahah! I was still kinda shy (I can't let go of my shyness talaga agad, pramis) so I hardly made a peep and just smiled and laughed and made konting hirit lang.

Of course I also met Mich of Pinoy Lakwatsa, who was also one of the winners of Anton's Awesome Contest, with her husband. Also, down-to-earth and makulit, just like Rache! :D Mich, can I have a copy of our picture together? :)

Anton, thanks again for the tickets! It was nice meeting you and Rache! :D [Feeling close ahahahahaha!]

---

That's it pancit. I'll reserve some more kuwento (my Makati adventures during my Spring and Hibernate training, lessons learned during my Leading Teams training, and some Darice kuwento too, and my LoVe addiction) for future posts.

Toodles!

Extra Challenge goes to Potipot Island!

2008-07-19T17:39:00.005+08:00

Or, the LS-IS project goes to Potipot Island for their team building!

Last month, the project where I'm currenlty assigned headed to Zambales for a day of team challenges in Potipot Island.

The challenges were to take place at the island itself. So after we settled-in a bit at the resort (after almost 6 hours of travel? or maybe 5 lang), we headed out to the island.

Potipot Island

Our makeshift campsite

There were two team challenges: the cooking challenge and the bisyo karera challenge. For the cooking challenge, the project was grouped by the four personality types - Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic and Phlegmatic. We all took a personality test (if you want a copy, just email me at missyosigirl at gmail dot com) to determine our personality type (I'm a Melancholic, btw, if you care :P). Of course, answering the personality test was done before the weekend so the groups can prepare :P

Anyways, we grouped the Cholerics and Phlegmatics together, and the Sanguines and Melancholics together. The cooking challenge was to prepare a lunch meal to be eaten at the island. The prize was that you get to eat something :P Wehehehehe. MVP and I didn't take part in this challenge so that the assigned leaders can take charge.

The cooking part wasn't really the challenge in this case... it was starting a fire, and keep the uling burning, hehehehe.

PWNAGE!

FAIL!

Haha, oh well, the other team finally had their uling burning after 48 years. Team Choleric/Phlegmatic prepared liempo, while Team Melancholic/Sanguine had grilled fish, salted egg and tomatoes and grilled eggplants. Diba, kung sino pa yung hirap na hirap na masindihan yung uling, sila pa yung maraming kelangang i-prepare? :P

One other challenge the teams had to face was that it started raining on and off then. While they were cooking, they had to put garbage bags over the grills so that their hard-earned fire wouldn't go out. Tsk sayang, I wasn't able to take pictures then. But I was able to take a picture of our makeshift tent for the cooked food:

First "building" designed and made by Civil Engr. Jap, LOL

And then it was time to reward themselves of their hard work and labor: it was time to eat!

After some rest, MVP and I prepared the bisyo karera challenge.

Sweets station and the Wholesome Drinks station

Chips station and Alcolic Drinks station

Work Questions station -- para sa mga tao na bisyo ang work :P

For this challenge, the project was grouped by teams, that is, the Cataloging team and the Purchasing team (don't ask). The Cataloging team has 5 members, while the Purchasing team has only 4 members. So to make things even, I participated in this challenge as part of the Purchasing team. Good thing Cataloging team's TL wasn't able to join us for the trip, or else, MVP had to join the Purchasing team, and then there'd be no one to take pictures during the challenge. Ha!

Team Marjay, without Marjay :P

Team Shelley FTW baby!!!

And let the games begin!!!

My team starts gorging on the sweets

Cataloging team catches up

Cataloging team laughs off the challenge

I swear, I will never drink chocolate milk ever again

My competitive team -- who can beat us with this kind of ahm enthusiasm?

Gamefaces

Tito "munching" on some clover chips

Jap gives up on the wasabi flavored chips

Jen and her water -- after the chips station, she went straight for the gin in the alcoholic drinks station thinking it was water hahahaha.

Jap a few seconds before he drank the whole cup of rhum!!!

And now time to answer the work questions

Serious na ito, kelangan masagutan ng tama ang mga tanong kahit mejo senglot na.

Yeah, yeah, we won, syempre.

After the games, we immediately packed up because of the dark clouds, high winds and rough waters (The next day would be the day typhoon Frank pwned Luzon). We headed back to the resort, tired, but I hope, tired with all the fun we had at the island :)

After dressing up, we headed back to the shore to take some sunset pics (I have team mates who are seriously into either taking pictures, or having their pictures taken hahaha). And so, I leave you now with sunset pictures.

P.S. We left for Manila by 10am as everybody's loved ones were already concerned for our safety as Frank was already wreaking havoc in Manila (my parents for instance was worried because we used our Dad's van and driver, and D even texted that we should go home agad). Less bonding time, and we weren't able to go to the PX shops in either Subic or Clark. Pero we were all able to come home safely, and that's more important :)

One Awesome Contest -- And Guess Who's an Awesome Winner?!

2008-07-08T12:13:00.007+08:00

Last Wednesday, idol blogger (naks) Anton asked for blog posts about "your latest awesome journey to any of the 7,107 islands of the Philippines". He will pick three of his favorites, based on the "awesomeness" of the journey, and they will win 2 tickets to a special screeing of Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D at the D-Cinema of The Block in SM North Edsa.

Having missed out on joining the Havaianas Flipping for the Beach contest (wherein Anton was one of the judges), I thought joining this contest was the next best thing. Ehehehe.

And I remembered one of his tips in judging the Havaianas contest: "I would put higher rating on beach destination entries that I have not been to". There are only a handful of places that I've been to, yet Anton hasn't visited yet, so out goes the Bantayan-Malapascua trip, and there goes the Boracay trip hehehe.

Therefore, the recent Baler trip it is! One, it's fairly recent, and two, I've searched Anton's site and there's no mention of Baler anywhere in it. So I'm sure he hasn't been there yet! :D

Okay so I submitted this and this, and crossed my fingers that I'd get picked. I'm a follower of Anton's Twitter and a subscriber to his feeds, and I have been waiting impatiently for either a twit of his, or a blog post announcing the winners. Yes, obsessed, I knoes :P

And then, this morning, I get this:

I'm an awesome-journey wiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeer!!!

Wow, woah, OW-EM-GEE!!!

Anton, a huge thank you for picking our awesome Baler trip as one of your favorites!

And a huge shout-out to the girls for making the trip to Baler the most awesome summer trip ever!

Woohoo! :DDDD

I guess I'll be at The Block tomorrow! I hope to see Anton, and all the other winners too!

Toodles!

---

P.S. So sorry for the multiple exclamation marks in this post. I am really excited!!! As in!!! !!!!!!!!!!11111111

Jeans + Sew-No-More + Scissors = FTW Skirt!

2008-07-04T06:41:00.003+08:00

Okay, I've been doing this since my college days.

I wasn't really satisfied with the first one, so from a skirt, I made into a bag. [I just sewed the bottom hem together, then used an old belt as the strap. Tada, instant bag!] The second one was better, as I used it for the last three years of college. The third one was another experiment, wherein I combined my crocheting skills with my sewing skills. I have no idea though where it is now.

So, how do I do it?

First, I get an old pair of jeans. A pair good enough to look at when it becomes a skirt, but I won't mind tossing out if you made the skirt too short.

Then I cut off the bottom part.

By this time I fairly have an idea on how short I want the skirt to be so the length above should be really longer than the length you have in mind.

Okay, next, I separate the (inner) seams.

Until I get something like this:

And then I lay out the seams so that it will resemble and function as a skirt:

Now the next part is the hard part: sewing everything up. But then I found a better and faster way for this project: SEW NO MORE!

All you got to do is lay out a thin layer of the glue on the parts of the cloth you want to come together.

Tada! Actually, I just wanted to use it to hold everything together muna before I sew. But then when I saw that it held nicely naman and won't rip out (in fairness di naman kasi ganon ka-fitted yung skirt sakin so really no worries there haha).

And so, the finished product, after sewing-no-more, and a few more adjustments to the length:

Yeah, I know, it's wide. Eh sa malaki balakang ko talaga eh! Tsaka butt ko! Kebs, at least may "reason" kunyari -- nanganak nako :P

And of course to see if it works on my body:

Too short ba?

Oh well, I'll be taking it out for a test run this Saturday night ;) I'll bring an extra pair of jeans just in case the glued-on seams pop out hahaha.

Lago de Oro

2008-07-02T11:16:00.005+08:00

Finally, after like ten thousand years, I was able to go to an out-of-town trip with my high school besties! And since EVERYBODY was bringing their significant others, I asked D to come also. Ma-o-OP ako eh :P

Well, later on in this post, you'll find out why I brought him along :P

---

Lago de Oro is apparently synonymous to wakeboarding. At first I was hesitant about the place because hello, I'm like the sportiest person ever diba? Okay, NOT! So what am I supposed to do there?

Well, may beach naman din pala, hindi lang yung lake for the water sports. Whew.

The plan for the afternoon was to either rent a boat or a balsa after the wakeboarding session. The girls decided not to go wakeboarding muna, so it was the SOs' bonding time :P

The instructor ahm instructing them on their skillz

Demo on how to turn the corners

D gets suited up

The boys line up

And now the fun part! The "reason" why I wanted D to wakeboard!

Yep that was me laughing maniacally at the end hahahahahah :))

In fairness to D, he was able to go further than that naman on his third try. But but but I have no videographic proof! :( I thought kasi there was no more chance that he'll be able to reach the first corner, so lumipat ako ng puwesto to use the SLR na lang to take photos. Sows, eh biglang dun siya nakalayo. Hehehe.

---

So after all the wakeboarding, we proceeded to rent a balsa for our afternoon drinking and photo shoot session.

Our balsa where we stashed our food and drinks and smokes.

Playing with the starfishies.

Of course the requisite jumping picture

Against the sunset

So while we were having our photoshoot, the boys were drinking it up with Manong. Hehe.

---

The next day some of girls went wakeboarding with some of the boys. Yes, it is best to assume that D didn't go wakeboarding again that morning. Hahaha. He went with us to go to a small remote island near the resort.

White sand, clear waters, sunny sky, FTW! :D

Bakit kasi magsasama pa ng SOs? Para merong kumuha ng picture namin syempre! :P

Aya couldn't swim that day! :(

It was our very own island that morning :)

How dark am I diba?!? The trip was just two weeks after our Baler trip!

It was definitely QT with my high school besties, as I usually blow them off. They're the only group of friends who are still unaware of D's and my current situation, so I was comfortable bringing D. Well, it is only with them that I can bring D, because my other friends already have an innate negative reaction to D. Hehehe. Not that the HS besties are completely unaware of who things are between D and I, they know some things, so they were laughing with me during D's turn at wakeboarding hehe -- makaganti man lang daw ako sana. Ha!

As for D and I, well, it was alone time for the both of us. Good thing we didn't rip each other's head off during that weekend. Well, there was no need naman, thank god. We were behaved and sociable and considerate to each other that weekend, if you can believe that can happen between us :P

And that's it pansit! Toodles!

Back to Baler, Part 2: Random Fun-ness!

2008-07-02T06:17:00.003+08:00

Gawd, what a delayed post. Part 1 was like almost a month ago. As usual, life got in the way of blogging. I wanted to stop at part 1 na nga lang sana, pero that would be bitin right?

---

So aside from all the trekking and island hopping, what else is there to do in Baler?

Why, surf of course!

Okay, I have tried surfing in La Union last year, and lemme just say, the surf board and I are not that friendly towards each other. It had the gall to tell me that I should lose weight first before I'll be able to stand on it! The nerve! :P

So, while they were trying to stand up on the board...

...and then wiping out...

...I was making my own fun with the waves...

Ehehehehe.

---

Drinking was de rigueur at night, and I don't mean drinking water (or the Kool-Aid). And together with drinking (rhum coke, vodka orange, gin sprite), we had to choose one and only one from the following options:

sunset or sunrise? chest or butt? be a chubby cup C or a stick-thin cup A? ipagpalit ka sa babae or ipagpalit ka sa lalaki? asawang nambababae o asawang nambubugbog? athletic na tanga or matalinong pilay? BO or halitosis? cup D na walang nipples or cup A na mala-mongol eraser ang nipples? top or bottom? be blind or be deaf-mute? dominant or submissive? flowers or chocolates? sadist or masochist? and of course, the never-ending question: the one you love or the one who loves you?

My answers:

sunrise, butt, chubby cup C, sa lalaki, nambababae, matalinong pilay, BO, cup D, top, deaf-mute, submissive, chocolates, masochist, the one I love.

There were more options laid out of course, but they're too many to mention (ala slum book). You can just imagine, with 6 girls, drinking alcohol and answering these kinds of questions, how "interesting" our night time conversations were those three nights. Hehe.

---

Well, they say pictures paint a thousand words, so I hope these pictures will make up for the non-kuwento :P

Who's the darkest of them all? :P

Waiting for our mid-afternoon drinks

Our one and only lighter went on the fritz kasi.

Palakihan ng braso itu :P

Our de rigueur drinks

Makes you want to be a beach bum na lang for the rest of your life noh?

And of course, I had to camwhore :D

And that's that!

Back to Baler, Part 1: Dibulalan and Dicasalarin Island

2008-06-08T13:34:00.008+08:00

The trip takes 8 hours.

4 hours of which are on the steepest rough roads ever.

And the bus is masikip, filled to the brim with surfboards.

But then, when you get there, you see this:

Ay, I tell you, the 8 hour trip is soooo worth it. That you might want to go back there again and again and again (diba Abi? :P).

---

Two years ago, we already went to Baler, although it was only an overnight trip, so all we did then was swim, sunbathe, eat, swim, sunbathe, sleep, swim, eat and drink lots of tequila :P All of them were a lot thinner then. Good thing chubby nako non. Hahahaha :))

For this year, in addition to the sleeping, swimming, sunbathing, eating and drinking, we decided to add trekking and surfing to our itenerary, as we had 4 days and 3 nights to the all of that! Weeeh!

---

Dibulalan

This island is around 30-45 minutes boat ride from Baler to Dibulalan. MVP wanted us to see the falls there, which was about a 10-minute trek from the shore. Also, we were going to eat lunch there, so we brought along some fish and eggplants and itlog na maalat to prepare for our lunch.

MVP and Tar had already gone there a few years back, but for the younger ones, aka me, Abi, MJ and Aivee (yeah, kasama kami ni MJ sa younger ones :P), it was our first time, so imagine our glee when we finally arrived at the island!

It was like our own private paradise!

After swimming, underwater pictorials and reading, we then had our requisite pyramid picture :P

And then it was time to go to the falls. *gulp*

Everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I am not an athletic person at all. So when "trekking" is involved, I would be the first one to say, "Hell, no to the N-O!". But then, I was with my sporty athletic friends, and well, yeah they bring out my athletic side, so away I went to see the falls :)

Proof that I am as sporty as I can be:

Cellulite alert! Do not click on the pics above! :P

And then finally, after ten thousand years, we were finally there!

At sapagkat nakakagutom ang paglalakad, pagbalik namin sa aming "camp" nilantakan na namin ang isda, talong at itlo na maalat na niluto para samin ng aming mga butihing boys! :D [Nag-Tagalog na noh? Mas bagay eh! Ehehehehe.]

Funny thing was, the boatmen and our guides brought gin to enjoy during lunch (well, before and after lunch too :P). So by the time we got back from the trek, our lead boatman, Roman, was already drunk. And he was a happy drunkard, as he kept greeting MVP a happy birthday, and rolling about the stream in the island shouting "Ang sarap! Parang wala akong asawa!"

Roman kept us drunk with his antics :P

Okay, so we packed up, and went to one side of the island to go see another falls. Grabe na ha, nachallenge talaga ang physical abilities ko!

Lalo na when I saw the falls, I was like, "How the effing hell?!?"

But then, in spite of the slippery rocks, we finally did it!

And so we headed to Dicasalarin Island next.

Dicasalarin

This island is only a few minutes away from Dibulalan.

Perfect place to quietly catch some rays and have the best tan evah!

We only had around an hour or so in the island. While I was having my sketch made by the artist Joel, they had a time drinking fresh buko juice (Roman, our drunk boatman picked tons of buko!) and cooling off in the stream.

If Dibulalan was all about the trek, then Dicasalarin was all about relaxing :)

---

It was, undoubtedly, the most memorable experience I've ever had with my girls.

I was able to streeeeeeeeeeetch my physical abilities by doing all those climbing and trekking and walking to see those falls.

And then Abi and I shared a bosom buddy moment back in Dibulalan which makes me giggle up to this day. (Abi sorry! Ahahahah)

I remember MJ wrecking the boat when she climbed in, after all the other bigatens have already climbed aboard, ahahaha!

And then of course, Roman, with his drunk birthday greetings and non-stop cussing ("Gagoh! Boh-boh! Kurimaw!" -- yes with an H, may H talaga yung pagkakasabi nya eh!!!). Ang sarap isama lalo na if isa sa inyo may birthday, hahahaha!

One of the best. summer. trips. evah.

Hongkong, Last Day: Ocean Park and Goodbye HK

2008-06-07T21:34:00.001+08:00

And so it came, our last day in Hongkong.

It was so hard to fit all our shopping loot and pasalubong and dirty clothes into three bags! I wasn't OC enough to roll na lang the clothes instead of folding them, tsk. Oh well, at least everything was packed into their respective bags. Hehehe.

We then left our luggage at the hotel lobby, for a quick trip to Ocean Park before our 6pm flight.

At the park's entrance.
The tour guide gave us time to take pictures muna sa entrance. So eto naman kami ni Darice, feeture-feeture lang hehehe.

And so we entered the park and saw pandas, a hippopotamus, an alligator, two zebras and a weird-looking dolphin.

Then we rode a cable car to get to the other side of the park.
Hindi rin pala ganon kalapit. It took a while before we got to the top eh.

Darice then tree-hugged, rode a balloon, wall-climbed and went on a frog-hop ride!

Then there were lots of Nemo's, jelly-fishing, a purple fish, and albino frogs!

Then it was time to go home.

And just like that, the HK trip was over.

Watch out for one last HK post, for some lessons learned from our trip :)

Hongkong, Third Day: Walking all over the Place

2008-05-25T12:29:00.005+08:00

After a tiring day of fighting rain and wind at Disneyland, I was seriously praying the skies would clear enough so that Darice can enjoy her birthday.

And yey, it did!

So with our trusty HK map, we decided to visit stores in Granville Road, Nathan Road, and all the other roads in between. Heh.

Our first stop was Granville Road.

Factory outlets can be found there, and we started our shopping with 2 for 50HKD and 3 for 100HKD deals.

And then we found ourselves at Park Lane in Nathan Road. An ice cream break was essential as we were getting tired already :P

And then we walked some more, ate at McDonald's for lunch, then walked some more and shopped some more!

And then we went home to rest. We planned to go to the Avenue of the Stars that night to view the Symphony of Lights. And we were just going to walk, so we needed to rest our tired shopping feet.

Because I am fickle-minded and indecisive, I didn't know what to buy during our shopping. Can you imagine, me, not being able to decide what to shop for?!? Anyways, it's because I found an awesome pair of purple Chucks, but I was thinking, hmmm, will I be wearing them a lot? And I couldn't decide on a jacket to buy! And Darice and D already had new jackets. I wanted a new jacket too :(

And so before we walked all the way to the Avenue of the Stars, we went back to the sport stores, and found myself a jacket. Hehe.

That's me and Darice in our new hoods. Heh.

It was a long long long long walk to the Avenue of the Stars. Feeling ko nilakad ko hanggang Quiapo. From Antipolo. Hahah. Exag.

Anyhoo, so we waited for the light show to begin, where else, but at Starbucks.

And of course we took pictures. Of ourselves. Hehe.

Then the light show started, and we walked to the harbour for a better view.

Then we walked back to our hotel [we were all about walking that day, hence, the blog title ;)], grabbed some KFC and packed our stuff for our last day in HK.

Hongkong, Second Day: Typhoon Signal Number 3

2008-05-15T21:31:00.001+08:00

And so it came to pass that on our scheduled trip to Disneyland, a typhoon decided to wreak havoc in Hongkong.

Okay, okay, "wreak havoc" is too strong a word.

But well, let's just have the pictures from the day.

Darice hamming it up during breakfast. Good thing we had her bring her jacket and her hat.

Look how bleak the city was. It was NOT a day to go out on tour. But we had to, because it was already paid for with our package.

Really really depressing.

Somewhere near the Avenue of the Stars.

Starbucks! I was so considering getting myself a venti latte, but we can't bring in drinks inside the bus.

Good thing Darice didn't have tantrums that day. Even though it was just rain rain rain everywhere.

Mahangin ba sa labas? :P

At the jewelry factory. I took out my camera because I saw other people taking pictures. As soon as I took this picture, the tour guide saw me and had me arrested. Heh. Kidding.

At Disneyland. It was almost deserted. We had no choice but go because tickets were non-refundable. Kainez.

Look, raincoats! Me wanted one as soon as I saw people wearing them. Ehehehe.

Going into "It's A Small World" ride. The only rides and shows open were the indoor ones. We weren't able to see any parade or outdoor show.

Me and Darice in our raincoats :)

Our Space Mountain paparazzi shot. Darice looks pretty scared but she wanted to ride again.

Buzz Lightyear was the only Disney character we had a picture with. Ang sad. Ehehehe.

"Thank you for visiting even though you got soaked to your bones!"

Obviously, even though we still had a good time, I was still very disappointed. I wanted Darice to see the shows. I wanted her to ride the boat through the jungle. I wanted her to see the Princesses. I wanted her to see the fireworks! I had such the best time when I went to Disneyland in California when I was 10 years old.. and I wanted her to experience that too.

Aaaargh. Nakaka-frustrate lang.

I guess I was more frustrated than Darice was. She was such an angel that day -- didn't complain at all. She had fun with the puddles, splashing me and her Papa :P She also had fun shopping :P

I guess it wasn't that bad, but I just wanted more for her, y'know? :)

Now, I have to save up AGAIN so that we can go to Hongkong AGAIN so we can go to Disneyland AGAIN. Ehehehe.

Hongkong, First Day: The Hotel, The Night Tour, and Camera Dilemma

2008-04-29T05:53:00.001+08:00

The Hotel

Hotel Panorama is located at Prat Avenue in the Tsim Sha Tsui area. I liked the hotel's location because it wasn't smack in the middle of the busy tourist area, but it was still within the tourist area that we were able to walk to Nathan Road, Granville Avenue and would you believe it, to the Avenue of the Stars? [more on that on succeeding posts :)] I wasn't able to take pictures of the hotel building because sometimes I fail like that. Hehehe.

I also liked the hotel room, especially the black-and-white theme of the bathroom. And now I have pictures, yey!

I think our room number was an omen of our Disney trip (more on that laterzzz).

The hallway leading to our room. No, wait, leading away from our room, because I was by our room's door when I took this pic. Heh.

Nice comfy beds. Super soft pillows. Warm fuzzy blankets. Well, no, the blankets weren't fuzzy.

What is black and white and purple all over? My reflection in our bathroom mirror. Nyahahah.

The Night Tour: The Peak, Wax Museum and the Night Market

To get to The Peak, we went on the Peak Tram. If I remember the tour guide correctly, the Peak Tram's angle is at 27 degrees to the horizontal. It was like going up on a roller-coaster, but well, it never goes down. Heh.

Lining up for our tickets for the Tram.

There goes the Tram. We'll ride the next one.

Yey, it's our turn!

Inside the Tram.

When we got to the Peak, we were greeted by this:

Eh kukingina naman diba, ang lakas ng hangin?!? It was typhoon signal number 1 already that night. Ishcary noh?

So we spent most of our time, and camera space at the wax museum. Some of our makukulit na pics with the wax celebrities:

After rubbing elbows with the (wax) celebrities, off we went to the night market.

By that time, I was seriously worrying already because of our camera dilemma. Our Olympus camera, brought by my folks from SG didn't have an XD card with it. I wasn't able to buy the day before, and I thought, hmmm, the 16mb internal memory will do, then we'll just buy the XD card when we get to HK. Then we'll also buy the dSLR. As in wala akong ibang dalang camera ha, yung Olympus lang with the 16mB memory! That's why the wax museum pics are all small because we were trying to save memory space hehehe.

Anyways, I was worried because the next day would be our Disney trip, and if we weren't able to buy the dSLR, or yung XD card that night, I'm seriously going to scour the whole of HK just to buy them! As in! Yung isa ko lang na dala na camera is my lomo. So good luck right?

Eh yun naman pala eh sa night market na sinasabi nung tour guide, there was the ladies' market, and the electronics' market. So one market for the wives, another for the husbands daw. Sorry, I'm going to the electronics' market :P

Okay, so we were able to buy an XD card for 300 HKD. Yey, we have an XD card! No more whiny 640 x 480 pics! Hehehe.

Then we were able to buy the Canon EOS 450D kit for 6550 HKD with freebies: 2GB SD card, camera bag, tripod and screen protector. Yahoo!

And then, since the guy manning the store was such a greaaaaaat sales person, napabili ako ng Pro Tama 0.6x Wide Lens converter [picture here, na-google ko lang], and UV filters (for the converter lens, and for the lens na kasama sa kit). Mejo pinagsisisihan ko yung converter lens, hindi ko pa kasi ata siya kelangan, pero let's see, I haven't really used it pa eh.

---

Okay first day in HK -- tired, and almost no more money. Ehehehehe.

Coming up next: Disneyland during typhoon signal number 3. San ka pa?!?

Randomly, in 10 different ways

2008-04-27T10:50:00.002+08:00

~~So while waiting for the Hongkong pics to upload~~While trying to figure out how to write about our HK trip now that the pictures have been uploaded, I'll answer this tag from my kumare :)

Rules:

Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.

Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules.

At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.

Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Okay, so here's mine:

1. Even though I love the color purple, I don't like eating ube.

2. I'm burara, which makes D furious. Hehehe.

3. I'm doing the no-rice diet. But as a treat, I eat rice when I go on out-of-town trips :)

4. I always have to read something when I do number two.

5. When I get really sleepy or bored at work, I do my make-up.

6. When I play Guitar Hero, and I miss a note during the first verse, I have to restart the song. First verse pa lang magkakamali na?!? Ayoko nga. Hehehe.

7. I always always always need a blanket when I'm going to sleep, even though it's hot as hell.

8. I used to write short love stories back in high school. With WordStar!!! There are two stories I remember, inspired by Nobody Knows by The Tony Rich Project (which was published in our HS newspaper) and another one inspired by Save The Best for Last by Vanessa Williams, which I never got to finish.

9. I used to hate mixing gold and silver accessories before (dapat lahat gold or lahat silver). But since my watch is gold, and I don't like naman to wear gold accessories all the time, I can stomach using gold and silver na sabay na. Hehehehe.

10. I now have a Canon EOS 450D. Yeah baby! :D

Okay so now who do I tag?

psych0sis, aggie, ammfness, tracycrazy, ivan-ulrich, haze-unplugged, talamascaisms, sisagonuts, daejavu, and maldita-ako

And We're Off!

2008-04-18T03:20:00.002+08:00

We'll be leaving the house in around 30 minutes.

I hope I can still update my Twitter while where there.

See you on Monday! With lots of pics taken with, I hope, a brand-new dSLR hehehhe.

Toodles!

Short Fuse

2008-04-16T18:13:00.003+08:00

I have been so impatient for the last few days.

I am less understanding, makitid ang utak.

I don't want to be in their shoes meaning ayoko silang ma-gets.

Para bang they're out to get me.

Last week it was all about battling tamaditis.

This week it's about trying not to be masungit.

Haaaay.

Two days to go and we're off to Hongkong. Yun na lang isipin ko.

Lord, give me patience.

NOW.

:P

Shuffle Mode

2008-04-12T11:24:00.008+08:00

Mostly bits and pieces of totally unrelated kuwento.

---

After ten thousand years, the promo(tion) letters were given. Well, everybody is given a letter, not only those who will be promoted. Coz, more or less, your salary will be "promoted". Heh, corny :P

Okay, so I got what I expected, not what I was hoping for. But it's all good :)

---

Oh and yeah, we're going to HK this Friday.

Haha. Wait, that was so casual.

WE'RE GOING TO HONGKONG THIS EFFING FRIDAY!!!!

Heh. So as to convey how excited I am.

So excited that I've scouted for prices already of electronic stuff that I'm planning to buy at Fortress. Yep it's in Chinese, but hey Google can translate :)

Minimum loot: Canon EOS 450D, an Olympus waterproof P&S camera, and a DS Lite.

And then when we get back we're going to eat rice and salt lang for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yikes.

(Ay ako nga salt lang, di kasi ako nagrarice haha)

---

HK trip is sponsored by dear MIL.

So please don't think, just because I got my expected salary increase, eh afford ko na dalhin ang pamilya ko sa HK.

Hehehehe.

---

But, the S3IS is with Dad. Dad is down under. Dad will be back home Saturday.

So I don't have a camera with me when we go to HK :( [Kasi we'll leave for HK ng Friday diba?]

Well, there's the lomo. Heh :)

---

When I found out about the Havaianas' Flipping for the Beach contest, I was so excited to write an entry.

But guess who's one of the judges?

Anton of Our Awesome Planet.

Initial reaction when I found out he was one of the judges?

Ngek. Pressure.

:P

Anton has 7 tips for people joining the contest.

First tip: "I would put higher rating on beach destination entries that I have not been to."

Ngek uli.

I was going to write about Malapascua pa naman. Eh we went to Malapascua because of Anton's write-ups in his blog.

Ngek talaga. -_-

Hahahah.

---

Speaking of the beyotch, we're going to Baler again! :)

We only spent one night in Baler the first time we went there.

Bitin sobra. Because travel time takes up almost a day na eh.

For our next trip, we're staying for three nights! Weeeh!

Can't wait can't wait can't wait!

---

Oh, and I hope this is not too late.

Asian Spirit is offering 12000 seats for free for their 12th anniversary!

Free meaning, you only have to pay for tax. Promo ends on April 15. Free flights are from June to October 15.

So guess what? We were able to book free flights to Caticlan! We're going to Bora on August! Woohoo!

---

Okay on to the D front.

After having this conversation, I talked to him again the next night.

Basically, the outcome of that conversation is:

He doesn't know what he want.

He's going to think about it.

Okay, allow me to be very pleased. Really, very very very small steps, but still steps in the right direction. At least now, he's somewhat aware of the situation, and he's going to think about it right?

Okay, hello, he had three months "away" from me to think about it na diba? Pero sige na, pagbigyan na, he did say he's not a "thinking" person. *roll eyes* Obviously.

I did tell him that I need an answer ASAP. He's been "confused" since we got married, and I don't think I'm being impatient if I want an answer na agad.

We both deserve to be happy. Especially so, if we choose willingly. Not out of obligation, responsibility or pressure. Diba?

---

So, I mentioned to D about U23D that it was going to be shown at IMAX in MOA.

I then planned to go with Joy and some other officemates.

Then a few days after, I saw the IMAX schedules in one of his browser tabs. [Meaning, I did no snooping around, 'k!? :P]

So while half of me was assuming he was planning to go with somebody else, half of me was of course assuming that he was planning to watch with me.

So I waited.

Then my officemates were planning to buy tickets already! Oh shit, D hasn't said anything yet about U2 3D.

So I texted D:

U2 3D, do I watch with you, or with others? Ok lang kahit ano sagot mo dyan. Assuming lang ako sa first choice.

Syempre meron talagang disclaimer na assuming lang ako noh? Hahahah.

Then he replied:

Sa saturday na lang. Watch tayo.

---

We finally decided, thru emails, that we'd watch on Sunday at 430PM.

And I just have to say that with all my replies, I'd tell him it was really no pressure to watch with me. That I just thought to ask because I saw the sched in his browser. That I wanted to make sure because Joy was going to buy tickets na, tapos biglang hahatakin pala niya ako sa weekend.

Confused daw kasi ang lolo diba? Baka lang ma-confuse siya kasi feeling niya I'm pressuring him to want to watch with me. Eh hindi naman talaga.

Of course I had to tell Joy why I wasn't watching with them na.

Joy: Awww. Baka ikaw talaga yung gusto niya makasama?

Me: Shhh. Wag ka ganyan. Baka kiligin ako. Dapat sabihin mo napressure lang siya.

Joy: [Andami ng sinabing ka-paranoid-an. Na baka kaya Sunday kami kasi meron na syang ibang kasama na manonood sa Saturday, and manonood lang sya uli with me kasi napressure sya.] Ano enough na ba yon? :P

Me: Oo, nadepress nako! :P

---

On to the other D front, Darice.

She's learning to lie already :(

And when I asked her why she lied, her answer was:

Papa will get mad if he finds out.

Ngek.

Giving the same answer as her Papa when asked why he felt the need to lie/hide things from me.

Magagalit ka kasi eh.

Ngek talaga. The only diff is that Darice said it in English, while D said it in Filipino.

If you know there's a chance that somebody will get mad, why do it in the first place, aber?

Tsk.

Di ko alam kung si Darice ang lumelebel sa logic ni Dar, or si Dar ang lumelebel sa logic ni Darice, na isang bata.

Kainez.

---

The "hole" sure looks inviting nowadays. Haaay.

I have to effing get out of this rut.

I must I must I must.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

---

That's it pancit.

Shuffle mode - off.

Toodles.

...back in the summer of ...

2008-04-07T09:25:00.004+08:00

Whenever you hear an Andrew E. song, what's your initial reaction?

Do you cringe, remembering those godawful lyrics like "Kung gusto mong lumigaya ang iyong buhay humanap ka ng pangit at ibigin mong tunay" or that telephone number of Ana who lived in San Lorenzo Ville ("801-67-22") or wonder how the hell do you get a name like "Binibirocha"?

Or do you get a feeling of nostalgia, a slight increase in your heartbeat, with a smile slowly forming on your lips?

Then do you feel giddy, remembering a pimply and lanky boy in a distant past, who loved Andrew E so much that summer, he would PERFORM his songs, lip-syncing and dancing his heart out in front of you?

Then do you feel a little sad, because it was the classic Sweet Dreams story because of the you-like-him-he-likes-her-she-doesn't-care plot?

Wait, it's just me?

[So I guess everybody's cringing now huh. Heh.]

---

Summer of 1991 was spent with my sisters and I playing patintero, syato, agawan-base and kickball with the other neighborhood kids. Catching-our-breath time is either at our house (the drinking station), or the house in front of us, as they had a bahay kubo on their lawn.

And this bahay kubo is not just for playing house. It had two floors, with the first floor as living/dining room, and upstairs as a bedroom/playroom of sorts. It was weird, if you think about it, having a bahay kubo in a suburban neighborhood, and being a livable space. Well, the family who lived in front of us came from the province so, I guess that explains the bahay kubo?

So when the girls wanted to play on their own, and the boys did their thing, we'd be up that bahay kubo, playing luto-lutuan. I distinctly remember those clay cooking pots and pans that was so trendy back then, heh.

You might be thinking, "You were still playing with clay pots and pans inside a bahay kubo when you were already 11 years old?!?".

But I wasn't there for the cooking lessons!

I was there for the boy next door.

And I could see him, in his room, every time I was up in that bahay kubo.

Having his little sisters with me in that bahay kubo was heaven-sent, because it didn't look like I was spying on him. It just looked like his sisters were annoying him, pointing out to everyone that we'll be able to see inside their big brother's room.

For the first few days, he put on a show. He loved Andrew E., and he would play his tape full-blast every time. And then he would lip-sync, dancing around his room like a little Andrew E wannabe.

Then he got to the song "Mahal Kita".

My 11 year-old jologs heart could not help but fall head over heels for him then. I knew the song wasn't for me... but then all I could think about then was "what if he was singing that song for me?".

What if he told me "mahal kita"?

My heart nearly exploded that afternoon.

After a few days, he got tired of performing for us girls up in the bahay kubo. Maybe he got annoyed already with his sisters, maybe he didn't have enough moves from his Andrew E repertoire, but the day came when he drew the blinds.

And so summer life went on. Patintero, syato, agawan base and kickball all day long. A few silly conversations with him and the other neighborhood kids on our swing set, on the neighbor's swing set, and their swing set. A few serious ones when we were left alone. He offered to teach me how to ride a bike and I declined -- I might get too giggly with his arms around me, and I might semplang. The boys were joking around already that he might be Chinese because he came courting at noon, but we both laughed it off (albeit I was seriously giddy inside).

Hands down, it's the best summer I've ever had.

And then it ended.

Then the new girl moved in, and as being the most mestiza girl to ever grace our neighborhood's church's presence, she became the talk of the town. And of course he became one of her adoring fans. He became one of her ardent suitors.

But despite my infatuation with him, and his infatuation with her, we kept mostly in touch. And by that I mean greeting each other while we wait for our school service to pick us up in the morning. Hehe. And despite the fact that my mom spilled to his mom that I had a crush on him. [Moms are so evil during the puberty stage no?] I've already lost hope then -- I knew he will never look at me the way he looked at her. I was content that I was still able to talk to him, even though he knew I ~~was head over heels in love with~~ had a crush on him.

The school year was about to end, and summer was in the air. It was late afternoon, with the sun almost gone. It was just the two of us, sitting by the curb, doing nothing, talking about everything.

And then he asked me to come with him to his [grade school] graduation party.

I was shocked, flattered, nervous, giddy... all those intense feelings I felt for him the previous summer came rushing back.

I couldn't effing believe that he chose me.

And so, as I've told this story before, it was not a happily-ever-after for me at that graduation party. I didn't get to go [because as I said, moms are evil during the puberty stage], and I was left with a feeling of being only the second choice, with only being the second best.

And it all went downhill from there.

I don't know how it came about but we started to ignore each other. We didn't greet each other anymore. He started to hang out with the other kids.

Or maybe I started to ignore him. Maybe I didn't greet him anymore. And maybe because I was being an anti-social pre-teen, I stayed home most of the time.

We were reduced to two people who acted as if we didn't know each other.

I don't know what came over me but I felt shy, nervous and embarrassed all at the same time when he was within the perimeter radius. I was able to handle it before, but then I developed a defense mechanism, wherein I put up my bitch-face (of course I didn't know then that it was called a bitch-face) so he'd stay away. I guess, so that he wouldn't know how he still had a special place in my heart.

Our families even went to Hidden Valley together, and we barely acknowledged each other's presence! That trip was one of my biggest regrets ever -- it was my chance to mend things with him, but pride coupled with a low self-esteem didn't really make for a brave girl.

And so after a year or two I think, he went to the States. And stayed there.

And we both lived happily ever after. ;)

---

I may have written before that he left me feeling like I was only second best, and we parted ways like we never knew each other. But hey it was my fault -- I was too introspective, too scared and too unsure of myself. I was 12 years old then gaddamit, I didn't know what else to do!

But I will never ever forget that summer.

For Andrew E. and his hit songs, for that bahay kubo overlooking his room, for patintero and syato. For conversations on swing sets and by the curb.

For falling in love for the first time, at just the right amount, without leaving any scars to heal or tears to wipe away.

Because every time I hear "Humanap Ka Ng Panget" or "Andrew Ford Medina", I don't remember breaking my heart the first time I fell in love.

I just remember my heart exploding to a lip-synced version of "Mahal Kita" by a pimply and lanky boy that summer of 1991.

And that is how I have a completely different reaction to an Andrew E song. Heh.

---

And now a postscript about the boy:

Seems he hasn't forgotten too -- a Friendster message from him when I added him as a friend, ca. 2003:

Do you remember the days we would sit on your swing and talk whenever you guys throw a party in your house? Tell your family I said Hi! And I missed you guys too!

Le sigh *dreamy far-away look*

As I wrote before already (oooh, hey, I write about him a lot ha... hmmm), he's now a pilot, already has wife, and they have a little boy. He's not lanky anymore, as he has gained a lot of weight, but still dresses up like Andrew E... and that's a joke, of course, hahaha. He's still into hip-hop and rap, and I think he DJs in his free time.

If I'm in your Friendster network, try niyo kaya siya hanapin sa Friends list ko?!? I'll give a prize ;) Hahahahaha.

---

Why write about him again, after ten thousand years?

I bought First Love, read all 11 stories in one sitting, and thought, "Sino ba ang first love ko?".

Then yesterday afternoon, the taxi driver was playing Andrew E songs, and aside from smiling to the lyrics of "Submarine" [napaka-wholesome ng song na yon noh? sobra], I was smiling to the memory of the boy ;)

And so this lengthy post.

I hope it has brought you memories of first loves, summer loves, and your favorite Andrew E. song. Heh.

Finally

2008-04-01T00:02:00.003+08:00

"Wala akong balak gawin"

I told you that tonight will not end without ending the situation at hand.

And with those words, there is no more situation.

There is just you.

And me.

Although, no more us, I guess.

I just wanted you to understand what I wanted from you.

I didn't want us to be an obligation. I wanted you to go beyond your obligations, your responsibilities.

And just want to be WITH us.

And being with us is not just being in the same house.

And being with us is also not just doing the same things together.

And being with us is also not spending time with your friends anymore.

It's wanting to be with us, because you choose us -- you choose us to be the first in your life.

And you really have to choose who will come first.

You really can't do EVERYTHING that you want to do, now that you're a husband and a father. Although you said you can still do everything even though you already have a wife and a daughter -- but at whose expense?

Isn't it at our expense?

Who gets hurt? Who gets taken for granted? Who gets lied to? Who is bothered that we're moving in two different worlds already? Who cares about spending time together, not just seeing each other?

Being a husband and a father is not just about obligations and responsibilities.

It's choosing us, because you want us. Not because you have to choose us.

And no, it's also not about accomplishing a list of things that you have to do written down for you. And then doing only those "feasible" for you.

We're not tasks. Loving us is not a to-do list.

It really has to come from you this time. I cannot teach you everything, I cannot make you just do the things I want you to do.

Wala ka ba talagang gustong gawin, or balak gawin, for our sake?

"Wala akong balak gawin"

Finally.

Eventhough it hurts like a bitch, I am strangely relieved.

Without any more hope or agenda.

Without any more expectations.

Finally.

---

P.S. I've missed you so so so much. And I'm going to miss you now more than ever.

What's My Love Type?

2008-03-29T19:45:00.004+08:00

About | Emotions | Perceptions | Aspirations

What's your love type?

10 Recent Things That Made Me Happy

2008-03-25T20:01:00.004+08:00

So it's been, what, 16 days since my last blog post?!?

Anyways, so that I can finally update, and with a cheerful post at that, I'm answering Aggie's happy tag.

Okay, I hope this won't be too hard as I am trying really really really hard to battle an emotional breakdown because of my wayward hormones. Kelangan labanan ang hormones ngayong gabing ito... PMS BEGONE!

1. Guitar Hero 3!!! Here's the list of my favorite songs from the game.

2. And in relation to #1: 100% on When We Were Young by The Killers at Medium level! Woohoo! Beat that, D! Ahahaha, competitive!

3. And in relation to #2 hahaha, getting to play Rock the 80's at my parents' place! I missed "playing" Synchronicity II and Turning Japanese so much :D

4. Learned to "cook" french toast by using PinoyCook's recipe :) Well not to the letter because I stuffed mine with cheese lang. I failed the first sandwich, but then, I got better at it! Hahaha. And best thing was, Darice loved them so much, she asked for another batch that same day. Naks.

5. There's a big chance we'll be going to HK this April, during Darice's birthday weekend :) Thanks to my MIL! [The initial offer was SG and I was like ngek no waaaay. So when she offered HK na lang, game na!]

6. And in relation to #5, also a big chance that I might get to have my own dSLR na! Yippee! Bakit in relation to #5? Kasi sa HK ko bibilhin, hehehehe.

Okay four more to go... this shouldn't be too hard. Hmmm.

7. Kinda-sorta spring cleaning. Organized my books and clothes (mejo color-coded pa! Ha!). Storing my accessories is another story though -- they're all strewn about on top of my dresser.

8. Across the Universe... although I'm like 1/4 into the film pa lang.

Para bang I'm grasping at straws na? Ahahaha.

9. Ooooh oooh, The Killers' Mr. Brightside. Reminded me of *him* hihihihi.

10. Chuck Bass. Love love love love him!!!

---

Yey that's it! Happy happy joy joy! :D

And now what?

2008-03-09T08:55:00.003+08:00

It was like giving feedback -- but the other person won't accept your evaluation.

It was frustrating.

And that's an understatement.

He tried to defend himself.

Going out with me has to have a purpose - either to eat out, watch a movie or buy something. Going out with his officemates is for gimik or inuman. Now tell me what's wrong with that? Well, I thought the purpose of going out with me was to be with me. And isn't a gimik or inuman just an excuse to be with your friends?
And if you're thinking why not we go out on a gimik or inuman, boring daw yun na dalawa lang kami. He doesn't want to bring me with his friends because I don't like them daw. I just don't like meeting his friends because they know he lies to me. It's embarrassing and degrading kaya for me.
They're just friends, even if the whole office thinks she's his girl. Yeah right. With the *mwah*, "boyfriend" code name, and "malulungkot ako na mawawala ka" conversation, who's going to believe him?
The girl asked him daw kasi to download the Jordin Sparks album. And that was after this girl fought with me over text ha. Who looked like a fool then?
He stopped telling me everything after Celine (the college affair) because he saw what effect it had on me. Ah okay, hindi ba yung skirt-chasing ways niya ang dapat iwasan, hindi yung pagsabi ng totoo sakin?

So, really, he didn't make any sense at all.

Because he avoided saying something that was so obvious already.

He kept saying that he wanted to be with us, he wanted to be with Darice.

But he didn't say specifically that he wanted to be with me.

And he also didn't promise that he'd change his ways.

Wouldn't it be unfair that he has us, but he gets to live the life of a single man?

Ano siya, sinusuwerte?!?

That was why I was so frustrated... because it was so obvious already that he was enjoying his life without us.

Instead of repenting, and showing me he has changed his ways, he lived it up with his single friends [Take note that he is the only married person in their group. Figures]. Instead of putting effort in apologizing, he gave up after a week or so of trying to win me back. Instead of asking us to come back to his room, he was content with the current situation, saying "puede naman kayo bumalik kahit kelan ah". Instead of saying that he misses me by his side, he tells the girl leaving for Singapore that "malulungkot ako pag nawala ka". [Kasalanan ko na rin siguro yon, because I always go to his room for sex. Tawag lang ng laman, tao lang]

And then he'll say "Gusto ko dito lang kayo ni Darice".

So asan siya habang nandito kami? Makakasama ba namin siya? Kami ba ang gugustuhin niyang makasama?

Ang pinaka-nakakafrustrate pa diyan eh ang isasagot sa'yo eh "Oo na, oo na". At magrereklamo na "andami mo namang hinihingi".

Wow.

Basic stuff that a husband and a father would normally do, nahihirapan na siya?

So gusto ba talaga niya maging tatay or asawa, o mamuhay na lang na sarili lang ang iisipin niya?

The worst thing about the Friday night conversation and Saturday morning recap was we didn't come up with a solution.

So as of now, everything is still uncertain.

And I am so ready to kick myself in the ass na for still being uncertain.

As I told a friend of mine, and D later on that night, I want him to be happy. I love D so much that I don't want to spare him the happiness that Darice and I have in store for him. Because yes he may be happy with his friends right now and enjoying their company, but he's only going to be truly and meaningfully happy with us, his wife and his daughter.

But he has to want that happiness with us, and put effort to maintain that happiness.

And I think, as long as I don't hear him say that he doesn't want us, that he doesn't want "our" brand of happiness, I will still try.

I will still try to make him decide for himself.

Unfortunately.

---

[Ang gulo ba? Magulo kasi talaga utak ko ngayon eh. As in. One minute I'm thinking I want our family to be intact, one minute I can't stand his guts. Pasensya na sa mga nagtiyagang nagbasa. Meron pala itong part II, dahil may slight developments regarding the homefront. Abangan na lang.]

One in Twenty

2008-03-08T11:03:00.003+08:00

Let's take a break from all drama and answer a tag from Haze :D

Rules: Remove one (1) question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag eight (8) people in your list. List them out at the end of this post.

Here goes my answers:

1. At what age do/did you wish to marry?
I thought then that 25 was a good age to get married. And yes, I did get married when I was 25 :)

2. What color do you like most?
Kelangan pa ba imemorize yan? :P Purple!

3. Have you ever shoplifted?
Yes! National Bookstore Katipunan branch wehehehehe.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
As in ultimate dream destination, Europe. Pero as in now na, sa kahit anong beach. Nawawala na tan ko eh :P

5. Which part of you that you hate the most?
My stretch marks :(

6. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
Smoke.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Passion for the important things in life.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Travel most probably, konting shopping, and save some for the future :)

9. What do you loved the most last year (2007)?
Being able to travel :)

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you:
I don't know Haze personally, only through her blog so I guess what I like about her is that she loves the color purple as much as I do :D Hahaha! And I'm amazed at her energy to raise two kids, and they're boys pa -- kasi feeling ko boys are mas makulit and malikot eh. And she looks like she loves to cook -- she posts recipes sa Multiply niya eh. Buti pa siya huhuhu, ako I have no energy to cook, only to eat, hahaha.

11. Is there anything about you that people misunderstand?
That I'm masungit or mataray. When in fact, I'm just feeling shy. Naaks.

12. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
Not learning from my mistakes.

13. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Mga plastic and mga feeling.

14. What is your guilty pleasure?
Cookies and cream ice cream with Chips Ahoy Chunky cookies.

15. If you had one wish what would you wish for?
Peace of mind and happiness

16. How did you celebrate new year?
With my family -- without my husband

17. Name your body part that hubby tells you he adores.
Boobs

18. It is already 2008, do you have a new year’s resolution?
During the last few days of 2007 and the first few days of 2008, I resolved to commit myself fully to my marriage and my family. But then finding out that D was not on the same page....

19. What do you look forward to in 2008?
Opportunities :)

20. What new skill have you learned?
Recently? Vlookup and Pivot table of Excel hahahaha!

Tagging:
Natatamad ako maglist :( Sorry! So kahit sino na lang :D

What is the issue?

2008-03-07T04:35:00.008+08:00

I think I have to explain myself as I am going to make an important decision based on what will and will not happen today.

---

It is basically the difference with the way D treats me, the wife, and the friends (boys and girls alike).

Of course, you'd say, siyempre iba talaga, ikaw ang asawa, ikaw ang angat.

Um, well, no.

I thought it'd be best to show you a small table of comparison of how D is with me, as opposed to how Dar is with his friends (boys and girls alike).

Me	Them
Whenever I ask him to go out, it should always be just around the corner, specifically Blue Wave or Robinson's Metro East or Sta. Lucia. Eastwood is an option. Ortigas is an option only if there's going to be something that has to be bought that is not available in the previous malls mentioned. Makati is out of the question. Cubao is too masikip.	Anywhere is fine. Kahit sa Makati pa yan or San Mateo or sa Cubao, walang problema.
We have to be back as soon as possible so he can play WoW - dailies, BG, arena, whatever it is that is scheduled for that day.	Anytime is fine. Going home early was never an option.
He's usually bored when he's with me. In Boracay, he didn't even made tampisaw sa tubig! He'd rather watch NBA while I sunbathe. I don't think he enjoys my company anymore.	In Galera with his friends, kita naman sa pictures, and based sa kwento, walang takot sa tubig. Definitely enjoys the company of his officemates more than mine.
I have to be the one to text or email him. [These kinds of communication is very important to me as I hardly see him] Replies monosyllabically, if he replies at all. Doesn't ask or is not concerned about my whereabouts.	With the girls, it's an actual conversation over text. With mwah pa talaga. And asking them if they're home na (if di siguro niya naihatid). Take note that he's with these people more than half of the day already.
Doesn't have time to make kuwento or listen to my kuwento. Tunes out when I try to talk to him while he's playing WoW or Wii or while he's driving (wala na kasing ibang opportunity eh). Doesn't believe in quality time with me, period.	Well, he's with the friends (boys and girls) most of the time, so I'd think they have a lot of kuwentos to tell to each other. Oh and of course, meron pang YM conversations or Gtalk conversations. San ka pa diba, lagi mo na kasama sa office, pati kahit nasa bahay sila pa rin ang kausap or kalaro?
Hatid and sundo are conditional - kung hindi coding, kung hindi inaantok, kung hindi naglalaro. Kahit sabihin na umaambon/umuulan na. Magtaxi na lang daw ako. I've needed a ride home from the airport twice already, and both times he was at home, and both times I came home riding a taxi.	Even if it's out of the way, even if I know those guys and girls (mostly girls syempre) know how to commute or get a cab, he's willing to pick them up for a gimik. Or take them home after a trip to the mall (kahit na ako eh nasa same area lang pero ako ang pinagcommute pauwi). Oh, and he has picked up a friend from the airport, mind you.
Malambing only when he needs something from me, or I need to do something for him. Other than that, deadma. I feel emotionally and physically distant from him.	YM conversations (I've seen some) or emails (I've seen one) with the special girls are malambing. What more pa kaya when they're together noh? At, kung magpapicture ha with the "special" girls, dikit talaga
During the few precious times that I can actually converse with him, and I tell him about some movie, or new song, or some stuff that I find interesting, he's usually deadma about it. He's not interested or he doesn't even try to muster interest by checking out the movie or the song or the stuff I'm talking about.	Okay, movies. When an officemate of his will suggest that he watch a certain movie, he watches it. Even though I've mentioned that movie already. Or when he saw that a girl's favorite movie was Serendipity, aba, may-I-Google agad siya. With songs, I asked him to listen to Alicia Keys' Like You'll Never See Me Again -- deads. A girl mentioned a song by Jordin Sparks, he downloaded the whole album -- na-curious daw kasi siya. Stuff -- one time, I brought home a microbead pillow and showed it to him, and syempre deads sya. And then come December, he bought home a microbead pillow to be washed -- pinabili sa isang girl after he saw that she has one, too. This was after I showed him na the microbead pillow I bought.

And in addition to that:

a pathological liar when I ask him where he is, and who is with him. His excuse is that because I will get mad if I find out where he is and who is with him. So he knows I will get mad already, so why do it in the first place?

Twice he said he was going to be at work, when in fact he was not. First time was when we were supposed to go to Tagaytay after his shift at work, which kinda got me worried, because he might be too tired na. But then he didn't go to work pala, but was at Xaymaca the whole time. So he was going to drive us to Tagaytay na may hang-over? And the second time last New Year's Eve, when he said his shift was from 7pm - 4am, when in fact his shift didn't change at all naman pala, it was 2pm - 11pm lang talaga. So he didn't spend New Year's Eve with us, kasi may work daw siya, even though puede naman kasi kasinungalingan lang pala yung sched na yon. [and no, I don't know for sure where he was that night]

And in relation to that, choosing friends over Darice

Because he chose to be with whoever last New Year, instead of being with Darice man lang diba? Kahit hindi ako yung inisip niya, sana man lang anak niya diba?
And there was one incident, when I asked him to go home agad because pinag-absent ko si Darice kasi kakagaling lang sa sakit. When he said he was not going home pa because he had to accompany a friend for something, I got pissed off at D and contacted his friend to ask if puede next time na lang siya magpasama. D got pissed off because of that, and because he is a child, instead of going home agad, he went home around 9pm. Naunahan ko pa siya.

His reputation in the office as a ladies' man -- di ko talaga kaya! Why would he let people think that's he's like that if it's not true! I mean that reputation is not entirely against him, it's mostly against me. And can't he see that nababastos ako sa reputation niyang yon, kahit hindi totoo (as he claims)?

And what really pisses me off here is that with all that listed above, PINOBROBLEMA KO LANG DAW KASI ANG HINDI DAPAT PROBLEMAHIN.

---

The hardest part about this is I never thought it would go as bad as this.

Because he was not like that during our first two years together.

This was the person who willingly accompanied me home in QC, then go home to Antipolo. Commute ha, as in jeep, trike, bus, FX, whatever. Public transportation talaga, wala siyang sasakyan then.

And then he'll call me up when he gets home, and we'll talk for hours pa, even if we just spent the whole day together.

Oh and the time we spent together, and how we spent them. Arcade, mall, swimming pool, movies, just pigging out at KFC. I know, I felt, that he enjoyed being with me, doing these things with me.

And he has wowed me with his sweetness and thoughtfulness. There were two incidents that I clearly remember: taking me out for a movie (Blade II) because I was feeling bad about something (forgot what it was), and another time when he gave me roses just to cheer me up.

I mean how can you go from that... to what we have now?

---

Bottom line, final analysis:

Hindi na kami ni Darice ang gusto niya makasama.

Hindi na ako ang gusto niyang makausap.

Hindi na ako ang gusto niya.

Coz I believe that there was that time in our almost 10 years together that he wanted me. Maybe it was just for sex, but it was me he wanted, me he wanted to be with, me he wanted to spend time with.

And with his actions for the past two years, being with other people who are single and still has their life ahead of them, he got a taste of what it was like to be single and still having his life ahead of him.

And that was the decision he had to make tonight.

He always says that he wants to be with us, his family. But his actions have always contradicted that statement of his.

And so he had to make it consistent.

He has to change his actions and show us that he really wants to be with us. And to outline how he's going to show me that he's committed to being a father and husband. I need that outline because I cannot go on living on empty promises anymore. And we need to agree on what's a good husband or a good father.

Or tell me, honestly, that he doesn't want to be with us anymore. With no hard feelings, I will be able to accept that statement... because he has been telling me that thru his actions for the two past years already.

He has up to tonight to decide on this.

---

And so, D-day is today, tonight. I will tell him everything I've written here.

And if he doesn't come up with an answer, Darice and I moving out is the default decision.

Because if he isn't man enough to tell me the truth, or commit to being a father and a husband, then he doesn't deserve us.