Shooting Stars

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.

- Noah Calhoun, from the movie The Notebook

The Notebook made me cry for all the obvious reasons. It was a movie made to dry your eyes out. I'd think you'd have a heart of rock if you wouldn't even get teary-eyed watching the last scene where the two main characters were holding each other as they lied down together.

But the movie made me cry for another reason.

Memories of summer romances that changed my life.


I fell in love for the first time in the summer of 1991.

He just moved in a few months ago, and lived across from our house. I don't remember exact details on how we got introduced to each other. But I do remember I spent the whole of summer playing patintero and syato with him and the other neighborhood kids.

As we were the oldest kids in the group, we became the mommy and the daddy who would always be the batotot and the lead defense in our patintero games. As our games were mostly boys-vs-girls tournaments, we would always be pitted against each other, which gave me an opportunity to be physically close to him *kilig* Losing wasn't so bad when our team lost to them.

Our house became the drinking station that summer, as we would play directly in front of our house. We also had a swing set and a spacious garage, wherein we would hang out if the sun got too hot. There were (lucky!) times we were left alone to talk. These were time that the other neighborhood kids would ask him if he was Chinese, as he came a-courting at noon. He just laughed it off. I was seriously melting inside.

And then summer ended.

I learned that he had a crush on another girl, and that he was really intent on pursuing her. The news broke my heart. I saw the girl (as she was a school mate of mine) and I knew I didn't stand a chance; she looked like a mestiza princess, while I looked like a indio kanto girl. But he still had a special place in my heart.

The school year was about to end. I looked forward to another summer with him, of patintero, agawan base and syato, of nights sitting on the swing talking about anything under the sun. One balmy March night I found myself on the swing set, talking to him about his upcoming (grade school) graduation rites.

"Meron nga kaming graduation party eh..."

"Ah talaga? Saan?"

"Puede ka bang sumama?"

"Ha?!?! Ahhm sige. Pero magpapaalam muna ako ha"

I didn't get to go to his graduation party since my mom said that would be "gate-crashing". Later on did I realize that he was asking me out to be his date. HE ASKED ME OUT TO BE HIS DATE!

But then it hit me... that I was not his first choice. He asked the other girl first, and maybe... maybe she refused... maybe she wasn't allowed by her parents. And so he asked me, his second choice. I was only good enough to be second best.

I learned I could only be second best.


I played around in the summer of 1998.

My significant other introduced his cousin to me, a drummer rockstar wannabe, who was reputed to be a ladies' man. He had a bad-ass attitude; I was immediately smitten.

I broke it off with my SO to try out this personification of a Scorpio guy. He was a smooth talker, with all the right lines and all the romantic scenarios he was dreaming up for me. We talked for hours on the phone; we would take a break to eat lunch or take a bath or whatever. I knew he was into me. I felt good that he was into me.

One thing that bothered me was that he had a whole "I want to devirginize you" theme going on during the time we spent together. Nope, he's not *that* lucky. But he was lucky enough to be kissed by me.

All these happened in a span of 11 days. (Or was it 9 days? I knew it was more than a week but less than 2 weeks ^_^)

I broke it off with him. He was too unreal for me. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle him. He was too persuasive, and I can be really generous. I was scared I might have to give up myself to him. But I didn't want my name to be added to his list of conquests*. I didn't want him to be my first.

I learned then that men are genius jerks; they can be the most romantic people in the world, but they only want to have sex with you.

* On his list of girls, I learned from my ex-SO (who's his cousin), that there are only three girls who has a "heart" written next to their name (meaning he really loved that girl). Guess who's one of those girls?!?!


I fell apart in the summer of 2001.

No need for more stories. Because the whole of this blog is about him and that bitch and their summer romance.

I learned then (and am still realizing right now) that he can only love me as much. And that he can never love me as much as he loves me.


I used to love summer. Because back then, I only had memories of patintero and syato and the neighborhood kid who stole my heart. I had *kilig* puppy-love memories of lazy summer afternoons.

But then I grew up.

And summer became the time to break hearts, and get your heart broken.

Noah Calhoun was right: they are shooting stars. Those summers were a spectacular moment of light in the heavens.

And then, they are gone.

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