Baby Blues

I guess the most important question [or the question that is asked most often], right after Darius and I got married, was this: Kelan nyo susundan si Darice?

And I have to answer with a disappointing NEVER.

No, there's nothing wrong with my reproductive system. As I know, my ovaries are healthily producing fertile eggs every month. Nope, there's nothing wrong with Dar's reproductive system too. Speedy and robust sperm cells are continually being produced as I write this.

There are two reasons why Darice will remain an only child:

Darius doesn't want to have another one,


Darice doesn't want to have any siblings.


Darius' sister Ate Ella came home from Canada for our wedding, and is staying here for more or less ten weeks. She brought along her 10-month old daughter Lia, who has the most adorable curly curls and big round eyes.

Darice is totally enamored with her. She would spend all of her play time with her. After her homework she'd say, "I'll go to Lia na!" then she'll rush off to my sister-in-law's room. Sometime it would be "I'll just see if Lia's awake na" or "I'll just say good morning to Lia" [Yes, ishpokening dolyares ang anak ko].

But then, if I ask her if she wants a baby sister or a baby brother, she'd emphatically answer, "No! I just want a baby cousin!"


Darius has also shown his soft side for Lia. He would often bring her to our room and play with her. He even tried to teach her the right way of going down our bed.

But then, I asked him, during one late afternoon when we were on our way home, imagine if we were already rich and stable and have lots of money by then, would he consider having another baby?

He answered, "Dapat nagto-tour na tayo non, kasi di natin alam kung tatagal ka eh" [referring to my *early demise* due to smoking.]


The first time that I got pregnant was such a traumatic experience for me. I welcomed the supposed-to-be-good news with shock, fear and indecision. My parents hated me for being a skank and ruining their reputation. Dar was the sweetest guy then, but he could only do so much because he didn't live with me yet.

Even then, I knew I wanted to get pregnant again. I didn't want that to be my first and last experience of infanticapation.

I want to jump for joy when I shout from the bathroom "It's positive!!!" I want to tell all about it to my family and friends with pride and excitement. I want to buy baby clothes, do a baby scrapbook, make a baby blog. I want a big baby shower where all my family and friends will be soooo excited for me. Most importantly, I want Dar to pig out with me (again) as I eat for two, be my driver everywhere I go, and always always always by my side rubbing my big belly while we go to sleep at night.


But then, it's two against one. I'll have a hard time convincing Darice to have a baby brother or sister, as she is already comfortable being an only (spoiled brat :P) child. Darius would be harder to convince, as he already feels overwhelmed with responsibility when it comes to Darice.

Maybe I'm just being selfish. They (meaning the two kontrabidang D's) have logical reasons for not wanting another bun in my oven -- that is, adding another human being into our equation means reduced [insert either attention, money, food, free time, etc.] for both of them. I mean, life is so hard these days, having another baby would just result to expenses, expenses and more expenses.

Tama ba sila? Tama naman sila diba?

[I am so shaking my head right now.]

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