I Give Up

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
(and I will give up this fight)

...

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't



---

It's unfair to ask of you not to give up on me, while here I am with one foot out the door.

I'm tired, I'm pissed off, I'm hurt. Terribly, terribly hurt.

I'm inclined to say that everything's changed... but now that I think about it, nothing's changed.

Nothing has changed.

They always win, while I always lose.

Why do I always lose? [Fuck it, I don't want to sound whiny.]

I just want to push you away from me. No, make that I want to pull myself away from you.

And so that I will not lose to them again. Because there will be no more choice to be made.

Because I will pull myself away from you. And you will just have them. Only them.

Because... I will give up this fight.

I just can't make you love me.


---

Before you draw any conclusions... I'm just having the worst case of the blues. So the drama, really.

Generally I'm okay but I will be seen frequently with my head up in smoke, a lit cigarette dangling from one hand, and the other holding a scalding cup of coffee. I am now averaging half a pack a day, with three cups of coffee.

It's just so the drama.

6 comments

  1. hi miss yosi girl! i like your blog! i can totally relate to this post. i've been through the blues a lot of times i've lost count na. just tell yourself that this, too, shall pass. :) hope you feel a lot better soon... i don't yosi, but i do like conversations over a cup of coffee. can i link up with you?

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  2. hi tintin, thanks so much :D there are really days na hindi maiwasan ang kadramahan -- i just need to drag myself through it :)

    sure do link me up ;)

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  3. malalampasan mo din yan
    you know what, di ka naman bibigyan ni Lord ng problemang di mo malalampasan :)
    Just believe :)

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. maybe drama comes with age or maybe there's such a thing as post-wedding blues. anyhow, what's life without drama? :)

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  6. karla, salamat. mantra ko na yan dati pa, na god will not let me go through something he knows na hindi ko kaya ;)

    skeet, maybe you're right. maybe i'm just feeling blue because i expected married life to be different. well, the only difference now is there's a contract signed. hehe ;)

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