And I said I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...

Okay, so the "ego boost" who totally wrecked our first year anniversary has found her way again back into our lives.

She called up D because she wanted him to make bantay her boyfriend (who, in my honest opinion, looks like a thin version of Shrek) because the said boyfriend hasn't been going to their house to visit her... and their newborn child.

Same situation 6 years ago - staying at home with the baby while the hubby goes around flirting.

Almost the same situation December 2005 - D's flirting with the office slut with dark gums. [I really hope she reads this -- she's still in D's barkada and every time I see her, I wanna smack her dark gums into a wall]

And of course, she, the ego boost - the supposed to be mala model na officemate who still went after the big-bellied but very married D.

[The ego boost happened late August. The Friendster blog has her pregnant late September. Do the math!]

I have always told D, during hormonal moments and I'm crying my eyes out and I'm texting him these long text messages detailing my paranoia, that it hurts. A lot. All the time. And it takes you by surprise - sometimes you think you're over it, but then BAM, you're surfing the net with tears streaming down your face.

There is no other way to describe it.

Mabigat sa loob -- my chest feels heavy (ahm, not because of the you-know-whats) and my heartbeat goes up and I feel like it just might literally break any second now. And then scenes -- imagined and real -- are flashing in my brain, trying to analyze what I did wrong, when did he show signs, when was that exact moment, if I could've just asked him to stay a little longer or called him up or sent him a text message then he would've acted differently.

It's pure fucking torture.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

And even if I hate ego boost's guts (for asking a married man if they could be MU -- potah naman, so HS), I will not ask you people to text 09064385*** and tell her that her ugly boyfriend is feeling up the girls in the office every yosi and bio break. Oh, and that he's MU with the office slut with the dark gums. Hee.



P.S. Of course I hate D's guts more. But it's better therapy for me to NOT hate D, and na ibaling na lang ang galit sa mga kaibigan na walang kwenta (kasi pinabayaaang magloko) at sa mga babaeng nagpapaloko.

P.P.S. Oooh, and I knew about the phone call because D told me. Yey! But then he said they continued to text each other regarding that, and I checked his phone, and I didn't see her messages. Deleting inbox and sent messages again, boo.

P.P.P.S. Oh, and D is inviting the ego boost again as a Friendster friend. Puh-leeze. Of course I canceled the invite. And of course, I'll bite D's head off.


  1. Anonymous7:04 PM

    Haaay...I know how you feel. Somehow, I can relate. Anyhoo, I hope you're feeling better, pero, tama ka nga - it's pure fucking torture. Hang in there...

  2. Anonymous8:01 AM

    well, yes sometimes i do feel better, pero di naman talaga natatapos yon diba?

    hope you feel better too ;)

  3. Anonymous1:31 PM

    hi! i've been reading your blog for weeks now and when i checked your archives and read about the 'affair' i really felt bad for you. i admire your resilience because if i had been in your shoes i wouldn't have taken him back. but that's how love is i guess. :) i just hope that this time, he wouldn't commit the same mistake. that girl should fuck off. D has the word 'HUSBAND' written all over him. or to quote my mom, 'baka kasi meron talaga mga babae pinanganak na may kiti-kiti sa katawan at ang tanging ambisyon ay manira ng pamilya!'

  4. hiya! i believe what mel's mom said. when it happened to me, i blamed the girl. ksi kung me kunsensya sya at kahihiyan at delikadesa, alam nyang me gf, bkt sya papatol d b?! obvious ba bitter pa din ako, inspite of marrying the bloke? you can't just flush it out of your system. as i often say to my friends, i can forgive, but to forget? forget it! haha!

  5. @mel & @qt - i've always believed that it takes two to tango, so i layed the blame on both (D and the girl).

    mas matimbang pa dapat ang galit kay D kasi kebs naman sakin yung babae na yon diba, di naman nya ako kilala, so why would she care if she hurts me? etong si D dapat may pakialam na sya na nasasaktan na nya ako diba?

    pero, para gumaan ang loob ko, mas nagagalit na lang ako dun sa babae. di ko naman sya kilala, sya na lang lait-laitin ko at isumpa-sumpa :P

    pero true true, one can never really forget. because the hurt will always be there...

  6. Wow. She asked your guy to be her MU, despite knowing that he's already married. I assume you got this from other sources.

    I find this quite common in the circles I've been in, not because the guys are awful (almost all of the guys said "No, we're just friends.") but because I think there's this cultural bias that says a person doesn't really exist unless you deal with that person on a day-to-day basis. A few years ago, my best friend was someone who was constantly set up by his officemates, partly because they couldn't believe that his Singapore-based girlfriend actually exists. C'est la vie. Sometimes, they have no shame because they have no one to whom they may be ashamed.

    My wife has an even better way to get back at these "ego-boosters" (although I haven't really had one in years... since picking up these past 70 pounds) - she befriends the girl, all the while letting her know that she's intruding into my wife's territory. How insidious!

    What's a worse crime among women than "stealing" a woman's husband, especially if nothing was particularly wrong with their relationship until this other woman came along?

    Exhibit A: Just look at how Regine's career has been floundering since being linked to Ogie Alcasid. She deserves to finally have a boyfriend, but! Methinks there's something kinkier behind that story than meets the eye.

  7. I assume you got this from other sources.

    thanks to the keylogger program i installed on our pc :P D was on YM, and he was making kuwento about it to another officemate. I wanted to have just enough proof to bitchslap him.

    a person doesn't really exist unless you deal with that person on a day-to-day basis.

    Haay. The ego boost already saw me once, and we had a little convo thru YM. I was starting to mark my territory but ... I guess those two times weren't enough.

    she befriends the girl, all the while letting her know that she's intruding into my wife's territory.

    this is hard because he works at night. and i don't like his officemates... oo na, cliquish ako :P

    Just look at how Regine's career has been floundering since being linked to Ogie Alcasid.

    ang showbiz mo talaga :P

  8. hi, shelley..

    i remember reading your "sad" blogs last year..ang una kong shelley.. yung package na yun? maghahanap pa ng iba ang hubby nya??

    i hate it when they say na pang ego boost lang lahat iyon.. crap. what they really do is give themselves a big boost on becoming one of the lowliest people on the planet...hay...

    i've had friends who've gone thru this, actually, going thru this pa nga pala. hindi ako palamura pero namumulaklak ang bibig ko..kapag naririnig ko ang mga storya nila, pramis!

    it's a good thing you have your hobbies, family, friends and this blog to make you feel better..(yeah..sobrang it sucks no? haha.. nararamdaman ko kse ang pain nila twing magkkwento...mas ako pa umiiyak eh!)

    i did not make a comment dati..kse super-happy-sunshiny-stuffs lang naman tayo parati alam kong kayang kaya mo "sila", hehehe.. ngayon, di ko kinaya..hahaha!