I thought that when we could finally talk, I will feel better.
But I felt worst.
Maybe because even though he was trying to "comfort" me and "reassure" me, all I could see was a sleepy guy trying to grope me.
Maybe because while he was answering my questions, I wouldn't look him in the eyes, afraid what secrets he's keeping from me.
Maybe because while he was telling me mundane stories from his office, I could only think of one word: WHY?
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Why do I feel scared? Why did you sound guilty? Why were you there? Why aren't my constant reminders and emails and texts not enough? Why am I always reminding you? Why do I always look like I'm clingy? Why do I still give a damn?
Why am I compromising? Why can't I compromise? Why can't you understand? Why do you think like that? Why do you still do that? Why won't you give a fuck about me?
Why are we still together? Why did we get together in the first place? Why?!?
Why do I still feel scared?
Why am I scared?
Fuckit, really, why?!?
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